The host or hostess put considerable time, effort, and money into hosting you. Return the kindness by being the best guest ever, starting with sending your RSVP promptly and letting the host know about any food allergies. Then, do the following.
Watch the Clock
Your hosts went through a lot of effort, so show consideration by arriving on time; if you are “fashionably late,” which is to say 30 minutes or more after the set time, everyone might have to wait on your arrival to be served. On the other hand, showing up too early presents another set of issues: The hosts might not be ready to entertain guests, or they may still be getting dressed or working in the kitchen to get the food and drinks ready.Plan ahead so that you arrive no more than 10 minutes early or 10 minutes late. The rule of thumb is to leave the party about 15 minutes after dessert is finished; don’t be the person who is still there an hour later.
Be Gracious
As the host extends the tray of pickled pigs feet your way, take one with a big smile and a “thanks”; you can either eat it or discreetly dispose of it later. On the other hand, if the food is set out on a table for guests to serve themselves, refrain from any comments that might come across as sanctimonious or unappreciative, such as “You eat meat?!” and “These chicken wings must have come from a tiny chicken.”Don’t assume the hosts will be OK with you bringing an uninvited guest, especially a child to an adult function.
Lend a Hand
If you know the hosts well, consider asking whether they could use some help beforehand to set up the table, move furniture around, or any of the other myriad tasks they have to accomplish before the guests arrive. During the event, be ready to step in if a drink or food tray is spilled, cleaning it up so the hosts can focus on their other tasks.After dessert, as guests are leaving, offer to help clearing and washing dishes, or bagging up and taking out the trash. Even if they don’t take you up on your offers to assist, the hosts will appreciate your attitude.
Turn the Phone Off
The entire reason your hosts went through the effort of organizing a dinner party is to create an atmosphere in which friends, both new and old, can mingle, eat great food, and enjoy each other’s company. A ringing or buzzing phone is an unwanted distraction for everyone present.At the very least, set the phone on mute if you need to be accessible to the babysitter or your kids. If you receive a call or text that you need to take, excuse yourself to find a quiet place; nobody wants to overhear your conversation or watch you clacking away sending a text.
Show Gratitude
No later than two days after the affair, send a handwritten note to the hosts, thanking them for a great time and for including you. A text, phone call, or an email is not the same; they worked hard to pull it off, so don’t take the lazy route thanking them.While some folks like to show up with a hostess gift of wine or a dessert, they run the risk of their choice not pairing well with the meal being served. Consider instead tucking a gift card into the envelope with your thank-you note. And make sure to invite your hosts to your own dinner parties!
