PG-13 | 2h 7m | Thriller, Romance, Horror | 2025
The question that hangs over all movie reviews—of whether the movie in question is any fun—doesn’t always sync up tidily with the other question of whether it’s any good. We like what we like, and sometimes it’s not highbrow quality. That’s okay in my book.
What’s especially fun about “The Gorge,” debuting on Apple TV+, is that the trailer makes it look like a cool military sniper film crossed with a monster movie. It’s a fun sleight of hand, because it’s really a cute romance masquerading as horror. There’s a reason it released on Valentine’s Day.
‘The Gorge’
“The Gorge” isn’t about the gap between entertainment versus quality, but an actual gaping chasm of stone, descending into the mist like a continental divide in an undisclosed Eastern European country. It’s been cloaked, by, er, electronic cloakers, to hide it from the spying eye of Google Maps. Overlooking the gorge on both the eastern and western sides are a pair of monolithic concrete watchtowers.Recruited by a shadowy, presumably CIA head honcho (Sigourney Weaver), Levi (Miles Teller) is now doing a year-long stint in the western tower. He’s a retired Marine sniper with an impressive number of confirmed kills. In the eastern guard tower is Drasa (Anya Taylor-Joy), a slim, comely Latvian assassin whose sniper skills equal Levi’s. What’s down there, shrouded in the mists of the gorge? Who knows? Previous sentinels dubbed the gorge “the gates of Hell.”
‘Don’t Speak!’
The male and female east-west operators, airdropped in with almost no job description, are strictly forbidden from communicating with one another. No problem if it’s two dudes, but that’s asking a lot when you’re looking at, basically, a year in prison, in semi-solitary confinement no less, and the only human you can see through your binoculars is a movie star-attractive member of the opposite sex.
Some flirting starts. The good soldier tries to enforce the rules, but as Jack Nicholson said, “Women don’t play by men’s rules,” and soon there’s a whiteboard message saying, “It’s my birthday and I’ll do whatever the hell I feel like!”
The star-crossed snipers look for a way to bridge the gap to consummate their smoldering, mid-distance passion, but, as the military saying goes, “The enemy gets a vote.” The pesky hollow men need to be dealt with. Soon, Levi and Drasa end up in the gorge, which we all knew was inevitable since this movie is entitled “The Gorge.”
Can’t Really Go Wrong
Is it really the gates of hell? Or is “The Gorge” really more like “The Terminal List” where a team of Navy SEALS get surreptitiously used by shadow-y, money-grubbing Big Pharma types to test a performance-enhancing drug? Could be all of the above. See it and find out!Ultimately it’s quite a silly hodgepodge: It’s “The Bourne Legacy” crossed with “You’ve Got Mail,” with a pinch of “Lord Of The Rings,” and a sprinkle of “The Island of Dr. Moreau” thrown in. It frequently resembles a video game due to the waves of increasingly dangerous monsters that crop up.
But the middle portion is different. Sharing notable romantic chemistry, Miles Teller and Anya Taylor-Joy steadily up the flirtation. This was supposed to be a horror flick, but it’s really a fun Valentines’ Day date movie. I recommend watching it in your home theater. Wait till, like, the 35th date, stay home, make some healthier popcorn, and watch it on the couch.
