As a Green Beret deployed to Afghanistan, Scott Mann worked on clandestine missions to form strategic alliances with local tribal groups, in an effort to dismantle the Taliban. When he retired, he realized many of the lessons he learned could be applied outside the context of war. They would strengthen people’s leadership skills and help them realize their personal goals. That’s why he was inspired to write a book to teach others how to overcome their doubts and uncertainties, “Nobody Is Coming to Save You.”
In it, he provides readers with the tools they need to take action without hesitation; establish “social capital”—what he defines as one of the key components of good leadership; and “get big stuff done.” He witnessed the power of building relationships while working as a Green Beret and stressed that it’s an essential part of effective leadership.
Mann while he was stationed in Afghanistan, 2004. Courtesy of Scott Mann
One vivid example he described was when his colleague formed a close bond with the head of a powerful tribe in Afghanistan. They forged a relationship that helped the United States gain leverage over the Taliban—so much so that the terrorist leader Osama bin Laden once wrote to his intelligence chief that their alliance posed one of the greatest threats to the Taliban’s presence in the region. “The first thing Jim did was to look Noor Afzal in the eye and atone for the last six years of conflict between his tribe and the coalition forces,” Mann wrote.
From that moment on, they began an honest conversation about the ongoing war and came to mutually respect each other. “Relationships are strategic assets … you should build and maintain a diverse set of meaningful relationships,” Mann wrote in his book. At the same time, “The relationship must be the asset, not the means to a transaction. If you don’t follow this simple biological reality, the other party will sniff you out and you’ll lose trust at a critical moment.”
Mann meeting with an Afghani village local. Courtesy of Scott Mann
He believes relationships are the key to breaking out of “the churn”—a term he coined to refer to the “distraction, disengagement, disconnection, and distrust” in our current society that has people divided, he said in an interview. Drawing a comparison to the overtly tribal societies that he encountered as a Green Beret, he noted that while the United States is supposed to be a civil society, the toxic news cycle and constant barrage of social media vitriol has made Americans act tribal toward each other based on perceived differences in worldviews. “The churn” that dominates our current reality threatens to engage our “primal fear-based response … [and] has us switched on all the time,” Mann said.
He gave an example of how strong relationships can be the antidote to all this, and make a real difference. Following the Taliban takeover of Afghanistan in 2021, he found himself in the midst of a rescue mission to get American citizens and Afghan allies out of the country—though he’d already been out of the army for 10 years.
“I’m not your number one draft pick for hostage rescue, and I’m not looking for that kind of work. But a buddy of mine reached out, named Nezam, who was in trouble and he needed help. We had no 501(c)(3). We had no money. We had no authority. We had no access to get to an airfield … All we had were cell phones, experience, and social capital,” he recalled. He got in touch with people he knew from his army days and saved over 1,000 refugees in a rescue effort known as Operation Pineapple Express. “What I learned, or relearned, in that experience, is that you build trust when risk is low and you leverage it when risk is high,” he said.
Mann's latest book, "Nobody Is Coming to Save You," published in October 2024. Courtesy of Scott Mann
Mann highlighted other important tips that optimize a person’s ability to lead and tackle one’s goals with confidence:
Storytelling - Mann calls it the “engine of hope.” Not only are humans naturally wired to make sense of the world around them through narrative, but telling stories forms emotional connections that are key to establishing trust.
It can have a tangible impact in the real world. In Mann’s book, he explained that the co-founder of Stay in Step, a nonprofit recovery center for veterans to rehabilitate their brain and spinal cord injuries, once successfully convinced Toyota to give a generous donation, after relaying her personal story of watching her son struggle to play in the hospital where her husband was being treated for his injury.
Mann giving a speech on leadership at a company event in 2023. Courtesy of Scott Mann
Find Purpose - Mann’s father instilled this mentality early on. “Each of us is here to ‘leave tracks.’ What my dad is talking about is your legacy. You’re here to do something bigger than you that will serve [others] after you have left this world,” he said.
Mann struggled with depression after returning home from combat, finding himself without purpose and disenchanted with the state of politics in America. After attempting suicide, he realized something had to change. He realized he wanted to help the public learn about the trauma veterans go through and made that his life mission. “When we are generous with our scars, new opportunities to serve others arrive. Why? Because we all struggle. It’s universal. Repurposing our struggle so that others can find hope is the ultimate form of generosity,” he wrote in his book.
Gratitude - Showing gratitude is one of the important lessons he learned from his Green Beret team sergeant, who would hand out framed “certificates of appreciation” to locals who helped his team. Mann thought they looked cheesy at first, but learned on one mission that allied forces on the ground truly appreciated being gifted with this expression of gratitude.
Recovery - Mann stresses how critical it is to decompress after emotionally difficult days. He recommends regular meditation, going out into nature, and doing a digital detox once a quarter, for at least 48 to 72 hours.
“The Churn has created a sustained, elevated state of fear that our nervous system is simply not accustomed to dealing with. High levels of stress are the result. And when we’re stressed in this way, we don’t treat each other as well,” he explained in his book.
Dustin Bass contributed reporting.
