Lou Holtz’s legendary tenure as football coach concluded with his having led six different football teams to bowl games (tournament games with the top-level National Collegiate Athletic Association football teams)—and he remains the only college football coach to do so in NCAA history. Most notably at Notre Dame, and also at the College of William and Mary, North Carolina State, and other top schools, the College Football Hall of Famer inspired players to give their all on the field. “It’s like they’re your children. They came under your guidance. [You] do everything you can to prepare them to be successful in football and in life,” Mr. Holtz said in an interview with American Essence. He realized that he could teach them to become men of good character by following three main rules. Even if some initially showed resistance, they would eventually listen to Mr. Holtz because he persisted in showing them that he cared about them and believed in them.
We asked Mr. Holtz how to be our very best selves.
This interview has been edited for clarity and brevity.
American Essence: You wrote about the “Three Rules for Living a Good Life” that you’ve applied to guiding players and in teaching people to succeed through your motivational speaking. How can those rules encourage people to do the best they can?
Lou Holtz: Whatever happens to us in our life, either good or bad, is strictly because of the choices we make. Stop blaming other people for the choices you make. Rule number one is do the right thing. It’s important to do what’s right, not because it’s popular, but because it’s what you believe. Because it’s the only way you can build trust with other people. If you don’t have trust, you can have no relationship. The second rule is do everything to the very best of your ability. You can fool me and you can fool everybody else, but you can’t fool yourself. You and you alone know when you put your head on the pillow whether you did everything to the very best of your ability. And the last rule is, show people you care. I’m an old man. My birthday candles cost more than cake. But the one thing I’ve learned is that life is not about being void of problems. Life is being able to handle problems, because you’re gonna have them.
Your obligation as a leader or as a parent is not to lower the standards, but to show the young people how they can reach the standard and how good and talented and competent they are.
AE: How do you teach them the consequences of their choices so that they can make better ones in the future?
Mr. Holtz: What’s important is, when you realize that wherever you are, it is because of the choices you make, then all you have to do is change your choices, in order to change your environment. If you believe that you are where you are because of what somebody else did, then you’re going to count on somebody else to get you out of that situation. Well, that ain’t going to happen. You control your future. Nobody else does.
AE: Some people may have difficult days, when they don’t feel like they have what it takes. Or they’re not confident in their abilities. How did you deal with that when you were coaching young players?
Mr. Holtz: Number one, I believed in them and what they’re capable of. And the problem is, as a coach, I always felt they were much more talented than they themselves thought. And you never criticize a performer. But you have an obligation to criticize a performance. And so with young people today, I wouldn’t let little things go by, but I would make sure they understood that they’re good people, but they’re not doing the best they can and that’s unfair to themselves.
AE: Was there one moment in your coaching career that was especially meaningful for you, that taught you something about how to mentor youth?
Mr. Holtz: I think I constantly learned from people and from players. I never learned anything by talking. I only learned by listening and observing what was going on and what was happening. I’ve taken over six college situations, never inherited a winner. But I went in there with a faith and a belief that we could succeed, that we had talent, if they just had to learn to believe in themselves, and find out what they’re capable of doing. And understand the obligation you have to the person next to you. You may not want to do the best you can. But if you don’t, you’re causing other people to have hardships in life. And that’s not fair. I believe you have an obligation to other people, you have an obligation to your family, you have an obligation to your children, to your wife. If you’re part of a business, you have an obligation to the other employees there. And for you to do anything less than the best you can, you jeopardize their future. And that’s not fair. If you want to fail, you have the right to fail. You do not have the right to cause other people to fail because you don’t do everything to the best of your ability.
AE: You talk about the importance of goal setting and having big dreams. What if people don’t really know how to achieve their goal? What would you suggest to them?
Mr. Holtz: You’re going to have to remain positive. I believe what the mind can perceive, the body can achieve.
Remember the word W.I.N., [which stands for] “what’s important now?” You want to be an A student. Then, you ask yourself, “What’s important now to do that?” Evaluate your past, focus on the future, and it’ll tell you what you have to do in the present.
This article was originally published in American Essence magazine.
