In a perfect world, drivers would politely and patiently cooperate with each other to achieve their mutual goal: to get to their destination safely and on time.
In this scenario, drivers would regularly offer a “you first” gesture, give an understanding wave when someone errs, refuse to check text messages, provide ample space for others to merge onto the highway, and honk their horns only to alert others to danger.
But we don’t live in a perfect world, and humankind’s imperfections are often demonstrated most visibly—and dangerously—when people get behind the wheel of a car. In our world, careless or aggressive driving can quickly escalate into road rage.
The AAA Foundation for Traffic Safety defines aggressive driving, the precursor to road rage, as “any unsafe driving behavior, performed deliberately and with ill intention or disregard for safety.” That includes tailgating, yelling or cursing, or cutting people off. Road rage escalates aggressive driving into hitting one car with another, running someone off the road, or shooting or physically assaulting other drivers or passengers. The list could go on and on—and you could probably add your own example from personal experience.
When I was learning to drive many years ago, my dad would tell me, “Son, a car is a lethal weapon.” He said this to scare me enough to drive cautiously, avoid risky behavior, and obey the rules of the road.
Reasons for Road Rage
One morning not long ago, I drove through a residential area near my home, trying my best to be alert and vigilant. A large truck sped up behind me, tailgated for several seconds, and then blew by me like a NASCAR driver. As he swerved in front of me, he punctuated his impatience with a hand gesture that was not the peace sign.My seeming infraction was going the speed limit in a neighborhood where I know children walk to school and joggers line the sidewalks.
The sad fact is that my experience that day is fairly typical for those of us who drive regularly. We all encounter something similar to what I did that morning, and sometimes much worse. News reports and online videos frequently spotlight accounts of aggressive driving gone tragically wrong, escalating into serious injury or death.
As a mental health professional, I’m compelled to ask why road rage has become so prevalent. This is a complex topic with numerous factors intertwined, but let’s look at five of the top reasons why road rage has become such a plague.
Our society as a whole has an anger-management problem. A 2020 Gallup survey showed that the percentage of people struggling with anger (among other negative emotions) was at the highest point in many years. What’s more, researchers at Duke University Medical Center found that 9 percent of adults in the United States have a history of impulsive, angry behavior—and have access to guns.
The conclusion is obvious: Millions of people are already struggling with anger before they get in a car. And the slightest provocation, real or perceived, can cause their simmering anger to boil over.
Chronic stress has become an unfortunate way of life. People are stressed about finances, parenting, work responsibilities, family conflicts, and much more. According to Gallup, daily stress and worry plagued the majority (60 percent) of American adults in 2020. The researchers called the finding an “unprecedented” increase in the number of anxious Americans. This kind of persistent stress causes drivers to act impulsively and recklessly.
Adding to stress is the unrelenting pace of life that causes people to feel hurried and harried. Studies have shown that “running late” is one of the most common reasons for aggressive driving and the most frequently cited excuse for tailgating, flashing lights, and passing another car unsafely.
The substance abuse epidemic is a massive road hazard. You’ve heard the phrase “alcohol impairs judgment,” which is borne out most widely and tragically on our roads. Alcohol reduces brain function, slows thinking, and diminishes muscle coordination—all abilities essential to operating a vehicle safely. About 30 percent of all traffic-crash fatalities in the United States involve drunk drivers. In 2020, there were 11,654 people killed in these preventable crashes.
But alcohol is just one among many substances that we should be concerned about; others include marijuana, illegal drugs, and misused prescription drugs. The Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration reported that almost 39 million Americans have a substance abuse disorder. Millions more wouldn’t be clinically diagnosed with a disorder yet misuse substances to the point of endangering themselves and others. In short, impaired driving from any substance causes not only fatal crashes, but also erratic driving.
Many people utilize their digital devices unwisely and unsafely. These days, it’s common to see other drivers checking their phones or sending texts while driving—sometimes when they’re speeding down the highway at 80 miles per hour. Distracted driving causes people to make mistakes and overlook basic rules of the road. Mistakes irritate other motorists, who may choose to lash out in anger with words or actions.
Driving in a vehicle creates a sense of anonymity. Many drivers feel insulated and isolated by the metal shell they ride in, prompting them to do things to others that they’d never do in person. Even a driver in the next lane can feel far removed, causing some to act with bravado and bullying.
As the National Highway Traffic Safety Administration points out: “Shielded from the hostile outside environment by tinted windows and a micro-climate that defies the seasons, a driver can develop a sense of anonymity and detachment, as if an observer of the surroundings, rather than a participant. The anonymity provided by this insulation can erode the inhibitions to antisocial behavior that normally shape interpersonal relations.”
7 Strategies to Stay Safe
Amid this daunting assessment, there is good news: You can make choices that dramatically reduce the risk that road rage will adversely impact your life. Start with these strategies:Check your “emotional temperature” before driving. Are you feeling upset, agitated, or exhausted? Have you had a frustrating day at work or gotten into an argument with someone? If you’re already angry or upset, calm down before you drive. If you have something scheduled that you can’t miss, ask a friend to drive or take a rideshare service.
When a tense situation occurs, take control of your emotions. You can’t control the emotions of another driver, but you can control your own. You can’t contain someone else’s anger, but you can contain your own. Breathe deeply for several seconds. Turn on soothing music. Say a prayer. Pull up an image in your mind that makes you feel peaceful and happy.
Don’t escalate the situation. It’s human nature to want to push back, get even, and reciprocate in kind when mistreated. Our instinct is to think: “He can’t get away with that! I’ll show him!” While standing up for ourselves and holding firm boundaries is most often the way to ensure healthy relationships, a road rage encounter is the time to swallow your desire for vengeance, let it go, and move on.
Choose “flight” over “fight.” You’ve heard the psychological principle of “fight or flight” that kicks in when human beings are in danger. We were created with the instinct for self-protection, either confronting danger or fleeing from it. It may not sound brave or heroic to run away, but often, this is the wisest choice—especially when we’re confronted by an irrational person driving a two-ton piece of machinery. Back off to a safe distance. Turn the corner. Go in the opposite direction.
Depersonalize the event. You might take rude, aggressive behavior as a personal affront. But most often, the driver harassing you doesn’t know who you are, only that you’re a random person in a car (or on a bike or on foot). You can create emotional distance from the tense encounter by reminding yourself this isn’t judgment on your character or worth. Tell yourself, “This is about the other person’s anger; it’s not about me.”
Practice all of the courteous driving techniques you learned in driver’s ed. An effective strategy to avoid road rage in the first place is to be on your best behavior as you drive. But many people who have been driving for a while tend to forget the basics they learned way back when. A quick refresher:
- Let the other driver merge into traffic ahead of you, and allow plenty of space.
- Maintain a safe distance between other vehicles.
- Always use your turn signal.
- Pull over if it’s safe or stay in the right-hand lane to allow faster drivers to go around you.
- Don’t block intersections or crosswalks.
- Drive the speed limit or go with the flow of traffic.
- Come to a complete stop at stop signs.
Apologize after a mistake. No driver is perfect, and we all make mistakes. So defuse a tense situation by apologizing if you’re able to. If you inadvertently proceed without the right of way or get too close to the car in front of you, a friendly wave and smile can help keep everyone calm. Hold your hands up to convey, “Sorry. No offense intended.”
The best recommendation of all is to practice the Golden Rule, which we can paraphrase this way: Do unto other drivers as you would have them do unto you.
