An 80-year-old grandmother from Alberta who suffers from dementia doesn’t remember names or faces—but she does remember music. She lights up and starts singing along whenever her granddaughter plays “Scotland the Brave” on the cello.
“We play so many songs, and my grandmother loves them; she‘ll sing along and cry, especially to the ones like ’Can’t Help Falling in Love‘ or ’Amazing Grace.' But with this one, for some reason, she starts dancing along and singing along. That’s her song, and we play it many, many times,” Kathryn Fakeley, 2o, told The Epoch Times.
‘I Put All of My Heart ... Into the Notes’
Ms. Kathryn Fakeley, who studies music and business in Georgia, always puts on a concert whenever she sees her grandmother, Deanna Fakeley—who began showing signs of dementia eight years ago.Last May, during a summer break from university, Ms. Kathryn Fakeley drove to Elk Point, Alberta, to see her grandparents. Her grandfather took her to visit her grandmother at the care home, and she ended up performing for her, as well as the other residents.
“It’s a very emotional thing for me to play this song because every single time I go and play for her, part of me is worried it’s going to be the last time I ever get to play for her,” she said, “so I put all of my heart and all of my soul into the notes so that I can give her a performance she will cherish.
“The thing with dementia is, they’ll forget that you came, but they’ll never forget the way you made them feel.”
Needless to say, her grandmother enjoyed the performance.
“It’s like a total mood shift,” she said. “The moment the song plays, she'll go from feeling kind of sad to so joyful and be fully invested in the song.”
As a bonus, the other residents at the care home also enjoyed her performance.
“They were just so overjoyed to have a musician come and play,” Ms. Kathryn Fakeley said. “Everyone gets lost in the music, and then they remember moments from the past.”
During the visit, a gentleman at the facility asked her to play a song from his wedding.
“I quickly looked up the chords and the melody and played it for him on the piano, and he was tearing up,” she said. “Music is so powerful. Here we all are sitting in the room, and it’s like we’re time traveling, going to moments 50 years ago at a wedding and having this experience together.”
‘Never Stop Your Music’
Growing up in Alberta as part of a musical family, one of Ms. Kathryn Fakeley’s fondest memories was playing the cello with her sisters at her grandparents’ house.“[Grandma] would sing along, and she always told us, like, never stop your music ... keep it up,” Ms. Kathryn Fakeley recalled.
The talented cellist, who has drawn inspiration from her grandmother, described her as “a tough woman.”
“She always stands up for what she believes to be right ... and for the people who can’t stand up for themselves,” she said. “I’ve always really respected that and admired that about her.”
However, eight years ago, Ms. Deanna Fakeley, a former nurse, began to show signs of dementia. At the onset, Ms. Katheryn Fakeley and her sisters were still fairly young, so they didn’t fully understand what was happening to their beloved grandma, and thus, their parents had a talk with them.
Over time, as Ms. Deanna Fakeley’s condition worsened and her family struggled to meet her needs, she was moved into a care home for seniors.
Now that the dementia has worsened, Ms. Deanna Fakeley said it has gotten to the point where her “strong, feisty” grandmother no longer recognizes people. This has been especially hard for her grandfather as he has had to see his wife’s memories fade and is unable to live with her anymore.
But seeing his granddaughters play for his wife of 55 years brings a lot of joy, and he ends up breaking into tears every single time, Ms. Katheryn Fakeley said.
In sharing her story, she hopes to inspire others who play instruments to volunteer at their local senior center, hospice, or care home.
“Who cares if you play in a huge, fancy concert hall for thousands and thousands of people; what matters is going out and playing for the ones who might not get to experience it as much because that’s when you can truly touch some hearts,” she said.
Ms. Kathryn Fakeley believes music has the power to change the world.
“I have seen hardened hearts become joyful again and peaceful,” she said. “I’ve seen music heal. I’ve seen music strengthen people.”
