‘Armor’: 10 $Million for One Day’s Work, True Story

Rook (Sylvester Stallone, front, center) and his team of bad guys in "Armor." Lionsgate Films

R | 1h 29m | Action, Crime | Nov. 22, 2024

“Armor” is the kind of low-budget endeavor that makes you appreciate professional actors who demonstrate what professional means. They know the movie’s bad, but despite the stifling ennui that must descend upon them, they give it their best shot, regardless. Integrity is what you want to see from an A-lister.

Especially an A-lister, who, on a film with a budget of $25 million—earned $10 million. In the case of “Armor,” that A-lister would be Sylvester Stallone. More on this later.

Story!

James (Jason Patric) is an ex-cop, a widower, and recovering alcoholic who chairs AA meetings, spouts the lingo (“Keep coming back!”) but also has a fake O.J. container in his fridge with form-fitted polystyrene that hides a vodka bottle.

(L–R) Casey Brody (Josh Wiggens), James Brody (Jason Patric), Sara Brody (Laney Stiebing) have dinner in "Armor." Lionsgate Films

James works with his son Casey (Josh Wiggens) driving a Brinks truck for Citydel Security, in Louisiana. The first half hour of the movie are spent driving around in the truck, in the heat, in uniform, and attempting to establish their characters. Casey’s expecting a baby with his wife, Sara (Laney Stiebing), and dad doesn’t want to come over for dinner.

The Good Stuff!

Rook (Sylvester Stallone, L) and Smoke (Dash Mihok) argue, in "Armor." Lionsgate Films

Stopping at a credit union, father and son are given an extra case to transport. It’s not on their clipboard, and James declines. He’s then bullied with threats of reporting his penchant for lateness, to accept the delivery.

James reluctantly agrees. Heading out to a remote area, there’s suddenly a car chase, and the armored truck is trapped on a deserted bridge with extremely heavily-armed men in black vans boxing them in, front and back.

Then, there’s this bit of scintillating dialogue:

Patric: “What do I call you?” Stallone: What, are we playing chess now? You can call me Rook.” Patric: “How about Pawn?”

Rook is the leader of the gang, but we learn nothing about him other than that he covets something in the truck. The rest of the film is the standoff between James and son, and Rook and his boys. The truck gets flipped on its side; Casey gets shot; there’s much battlefield acting, with improvised tourniquets and much wincing. A la Jodi Foster in “Panic Room,” James and Casey lock themselves in the truck, while Rook et al lob teargas canisters and such.

Jason Patric in "Armor." Lionsgate Films

And that’s basically the entire enchilada. A flashback reveals more backstory about James and Casey; the bad guys argue amongst themselves; there’s a final shootout.

James Broody (Jason Patric, L) tends to his wounded son Casey (Josh Wiggens), in "Armor." Lionsgate Films

Heat and regret are everywhere in abundance in “Armor,” but screen excitement, not so much. It’s about uneventful relationships, that, without the benefit of a tense heist movie to back the whole thing up, produce a yawn-fest. The action scenes on the bridge are the only thing livening up the slow pace, but we’ve seen it all a millions times before.

The Bad Stuff! (It’s All Bad Stuff)

Stallone isn’t given much of a character to play, and so basically is just phoning in his performance. His character is mostly onboard to look tough and talk to James and Casey, who remain inside the truck.

Rook (Sylvester Stallone, L) and an uncredited henchman, in "Armor." Lionsgate Films

Stallone glumly delivers the weak dialogue, which leaves you wondering why the movie was made in the first place. Stallone was reportedly paid $10 million for a single day of work—standing around, saying boring lines, and pointing fake guns.

It ain’t ditch-digging. As the saying goes, “Nice work if you can get it.” For $10 million one would expect some more bang for the buck, but maybe he knew there was no rescuing this clunker.

Promotional poster for "Armor." Lionsgate Films

‘Armor’ Director: Justin Routt Starring: Sylvester Stallone, Jason Patric, Josh Wiggens, Laney Stiebing MPAA Rating: R Running Time: 1 hour, 48 minutes Release Date: Nov. 22, 2024 Rating: 1 1/2 stars out of 5

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