Born and raised in the northeastern United States, former fashion model Lea, 38, spent years working in the modeling industry before rediscovering faith and returning to her roots.
Talking to The Epoch Times, she shared her story of transitioning from the catwalk to the countryside.
“I am grateful to be out of that phase of life and to feel at rest in my womanhood,” she said. “I no longer feel in competition with other women, and I no longer feel the need to draw lustful attention from men. When I get attention now, it is so much more respectful and gentle.
“It’s freeing to realize that you can be beautiful, feminine, and put together without having to show your whole body or conform to the trends and standards of the world.”
Looking back at some of the things she used to wear walking the streets of New York alone at night, Lea can barely believe it. Now a homemaker living in a rural part of the mountainous Northeast, she recalls how she’d pick clothing to get attention and be seen.
“I was drawing worth from being noticed in the wrong way,” she said. “Once I entered the modeling industry, it got even worse. Any sense of modesty I had ever had, quickly faded away. It’s almost impossible to be in the modeling industry and be modest. There’s no grace—it’s very stressful.
“I feel more secure now, and I am thankful for the wisdom I’ve gained over the years.”
The Modeling Life
Starting from her late teens, Lea worked mostly in the city in the heart of high-fashion modeling. Her career began when a friend dared her to go and try her luck at a modeling agency.Picking one out of what appeared to be the top five in New York, she walked right on in and was signed on the spot; going out to see potential clients the very same day.
After that, everything happened extremely fast, she says.
Lea was immediately booked to take part in 35 shows in fall fashion week. Later, she worked with “many of the top designers in the world” and traveled to various cities; she was also featured on TV’s Project Runway.
“It was crazy, “she said, “and I saw a lot of things I hadn’t previously been exposed to.”
For 12 years, the girl from the Northeast lived a fast life, dressing like those around her in a way she now feels was a sign of insecurity.
Understanding Womanhood
It was after more than a decade of immersion in that world that Lea experienced a personal awakening to God and realized that the lifestyle she’d been leading was shallow and damaging.“I experienced being born again and, finally, knowing who God really was,” she said.
She found a church, started going to Bible study and services, and there, met her future husband. And her old career, patterns, and behaviors gradually fell away.
“That’s when my desire to allow myself to live more fully in my God-given femininity came to the surface,” she said. “I had never realized before how much femininity had been stolen from women in our modern world.
“It felt freeing. There’s not all that pressure to be perfect all the time. ... Womanhood is not something that needs to be overcome—and we have nothing to prove to the world. Our worth does not come from the things of this world nor its opinions.”
The couple eventually moved out west, near the mountains. Armed with a low budget, they set out to find a homestead property and finally came across a little house.
“A person will inevitably become miserable, anxious, or restless when they are spending their entire life fighting against who they were created to be,” she said. “Femininity is brimming with a beautiful silent power. I think it’s important in a world telling us to be loud and aggressive to aim to be filled with grace and gentleness towards others.”
In place of expensive designer clothes, Lea began dressing modestly; changing out her wardrobe in stages. Figuring out how to incorporate old pieces, she was able to layer tight or more revealing garments under dresses or rompers. Rather than being about covering up in shame, she says, her new style of dress was about expressing her dignity.
“Modesty is not about hiding your womanhood, but rather, revealing it in its most beautiful form,” she said. “I think some of the misunderstandings of modesty come from the images we have in our minds of what modesty has to look like.
“We are not doing the concept of modesty any favors when we begin heaping our own interpretations and standards of modesty onto others as though we are speaking for God. We can ignorantly create a sense of burden around the art of modesty, when in reality, modesty is about freedom. We are free to have our own unique style and enjoy colors and live joyfully in our femininity.”
After 10 years away from modeling, Lea’s life is drastically different, and the way she dresses is just a small part of the picture.
“I absolutely love being in the mountains and being surrounded by creation,” she said, grateful to be past those years of her life and in a better place of contentment and quiet confidence in her identity.
Finding One’s Own Style
While she’s not against the fashion industry, Lea believes its fickle nature, with trends changing every season, leaves consumers trapped in a constant cycle, clamoring to get the latest best thing.“This is why it’s so important to understand your own style, what you feel comfortable and beautiful in, and have a grasp on timeless fashion,” she said. “It’s a very budget-friendly idea to collect timeless pieces that look just as lovely and fitting today as they will 50 years from now.”
The former model shares that she does see a lot of confusion around very revealing clothing:
“We label it as empowering, but in the same breath, we cry against being objectified. We want to live in a reality that does not exist. The lie that has been sold to women, that we are empowered when we exploit our bodies, has been so destructive to society as a whole and sowed seeds of deep confusion in the hearts of women.”
As for the modeling world, she wouldn’t rule out doing “mature” modeling in the future but thinks it’s a terrible idea for those unprepared for it.
“I’m against children or young people going anywhere near the entertainment industry with a 10-foot pole. You need to go into those sorts of environments with a solid maturity and strong boundaries that are not tossed by every whisper of the wind,” she said.
Although what a person wears does affect how they interact with the world, Lea says, “the most important thing” will always be a person’s character.
