It can be difficult in our fast-paced world to make new friends, so consider using the techniques of the pros at making connections—bartenders—to start and nurture lasting relationships.
Smile
The first step is the most important and should be the easiest: Simply give the person a warm, genuine smile. Many people are aloof and guarded around strangers, but a smile can melt that away. By taking the first step, you make it easier for them to loosen up. Practice this in everyday encounters with the mail carrier, the neighbor from two doors down, and other pet owners at the dog park.Be a Good Listener
Once people let down their guard, they love to tell their stories, so listen more than you talk. Maintain good eye contact, and nod to let them know you’re paying attention; this nonverbal feedback shows that you’re interested in what they’re saying and encourages them to keep talking. Allow them to monopolize the conversation; it’s a good sign that you’ve connected when a shy person lets loose with a torrent of happy chatter.Ask Questions
While it’s critical to actively listen, most conversations inspire questions as we seek more details or confirm what we’ve just heard. Asking relevant questions shows interest and also can be a very effective way to more fully engage with the person who’s talking. Because in many interactions it isn’t uncommon for the listener to look bored, it’s important to participate in the conversation to add virtual fuel to keep it going.Be Diplomatic and Discreet
When interacting with someone for the first time, or early in the relationship, the other person may say something that’s either inappropriate or perhaps completely false. At these moments, it’s important to consider if you want that person as a friend or as just a nodding acquaintance. In any event, it’s incumbent upon you to respect the person’s privacy by not repeating what was said and by resisting the urge to correct him or her.Seek Connections
Over time, the average person comes into contact with many people, the vast majority of whom are never seen again. However, it’s entirely possible that one of them has the potential to become a trusted, lifelong friend. While realizing that most brief interactions never develop into something more, remain open to those that show promise. Look for conversation starters, such as the person’s dog, car, or sports team memorabilia. They can provide great content after you’ve already used “hi.”
