6 Things to Know About Safe Phone and Internet Usage for Kids

Parents need to exercise good communication with their kids to build trust and safe internet habits. Christin Lola/Shutterstock

For many parents of children and teens, the internet and cell phones can pose concerns. Unsupervised and excessive use of either can cause problematic physical and emotional issues, such as neglected responsibilities, increased anxiety, addiction, and even safety risks. Here are six things to know about safe digital device usage for kids.

1. Digital Usage Can Become an Addiction

Merriam-Webster defines an addiction as a compulsive, chronic, physiological, or psychological need for a habit-forming substance, behavior, or activity having harmful physical, psychological, or social effects. Withdrawal or abstinence causes well-defined symptoms (such as anxiety, irritability, tremors, or nausea). While many associate addictions with painkillers, alcohol use, or excessive gambling, internet and phone use can also become addictive, especially among juveniles.

A study conducted by BMC Psychiatry between 2011 and 2017 on problematic smartphone usage by children and young people reported problematic usage was reported in approximately one in every four children. It was accompanied by increased odds of poorer mental health. In the report’s conclusion, BMC considered problematic phone usage to be an evolving public health concern that requires greater study to determine the boundary between helpful and harmful technology use.

2. Healthy Limits Vary Per Child

Determining what constitutes too much technology is a challenge for all parents. Katie Dorn, a former K-12 school counselor and co-founder of EmpowerU, a program designed to help students replace anxiety and depression with confidence, advised The Epoch Times on the subject. “When we think about how much is too much, it’s really about how screen time impacts the rest of your child’s life. Ask yourself: Is it affecting their mood? Are they neglecting responsibilities like schoolwork or chores?”

“If social media use or phone time is leading to anxiety, irritability, or even loss of sleep, those are red flags,” she continued. “It’s not just about counting hours; it’s about balance. Experts suggest keeping recreational screen time under two hours a day, but every child is different, so it’s essential to monitor how they’re handling it mentally and emotionally.”

Dr. Robyn Riseberg, pediatrician and founder of Boston Community Pediatrics, agrees. She told The Epoch Times that monitoring is essential for safeguarding children’s mental health and safety and ensuring they’re not exposed to negative or inappropriate content.

“It is important to educate children about the difference between social media content and reality, which can help mitigate risks, especially when usage exceeds two hours per day, which has been linked to mental health issues,” she said. “Creating plans about what is appropriate and what is not can also be useful.”

When asked what constitutes excessive use, Dr. Riseberg said: “Too much time on social media can be determined by the impact it has on the child or teen’s daily life. Studies have linked excessive use to increased loneliness, depression, and anxiety. If social media use begins to interfere with responsibilities, mental health, or personal goals, it may indicate there is an overuse of social media.”

Setting up parameters around device and internet usage and communicating these with your children and teens can make a big difference. Dorn suggests establishing device-free rooms, banning device use during meals, or using timers to limit online activity. These are just a few ways to effectively manage the amount of time a child or teen spends on devices while at home.

3. It’s Best to Balance With Activities That Promote Health

Dorn told The Epoch Times, “Excessive internet or social media use can lead to several negative effects. Passive consumption and hours of scrolling are associated with a higher likelihood of depression, while active engagement—liking and posting—has less of a negative impact. This suggests that the quality of social media use, not just the quantity, plays a role in mental health outcomes.”

She said excessive time online can lead to several issues. “We’re seeing higher rates of anxiety, depression, and even feelings of isolation in kids who spend too much time on social media. They’re constantly comparing themselves to the curated images they see, which can harm their self-esteem. Physically, they’re also more sedentary, which can contribute to sleep disturbances and weight gain. Socially, it can prevent them from building real-world communication skills. So, it’s critical to find that balance and ensure they’re engaging in activities that promote both mental and physical health.”

Other negative effects, she reported, include disrupted sleep, reduced academic performance, and reduced social skills. Her advice to parents is to consider the child’s maturity and educational needs when allowing online activities. While there will always be exceptions, she suggests the child be at least 13 years old before allowing them to use most social platforms. “At this age, children are generally better equipped to handle the responsibilities of internet and phone use.”

4. Internet and Phone Usage Comes With Serious Risks

As an educator, Clyde Barnett III is very aware of issues related to smartphone and social media access by children and teens. He told The Epoch Times, “Clearly, not all internet or phone use by kids is bad. I have worked with students who use their phones to create art, to write, to record music and films. This takes hours of work and attention.”

But he’s seen instances where children inadvertently misuse these devices. “A child shared his home address while playing a video game. Later, a pickup truck arrived at the child’s home. Luckily, the child’s mother was home so nothing happened ... however, yikes! I fully support monitoring phone and internet use to some degree.”

Educational behaviorist Robyne Hanley-Dafoe recommends open communication. “Having ongoing conversations with kids and teens about online safety and responsible internet use is key,” she recommended. “As an adult, you may not engage with the same apps or platforms as your child or teen, making it important that you stay curious about their online activity. Asking open-ended questions about the apps they use and the content they encounter invites them to share their experiences. This helps them to feel comfortable discussing their online interactions, ultimately providing valuable insights into their digital world, and helping you guide them in making responsible choices.”

Dorn agrees. “Beyond the tech, it’s about having regular conversations with your kids about what they’re doing online and why it matters. You can also set house rules—like no phones during family meals or after a certain time at night—to help enforce healthy boundaries.”

5. Monitoring Software Helps Keep Kids Safe

Dorn is a strong proponent of using software to monitor a child’s online activity. “Monitoring shouldn’t feel like spying; it’s about guiding your child through the digital world,” she said. “Kids don’t always recognize risks, so having a watchful eye on who they’re interacting with and what content they’re accessing is crucial. As they grow and prove they can make safe, responsible choices, you can scale back on the monitoring.”

“There are great parental control tools out there that allow you to set time limits, filter content, and monitor usage,” she said. “I think phones with limits on who can be called or what online connections can be made are a great option for younger kids or those just starting out with phones.”

Limited-access phones, such as those offered by Pinwheel or Gabb, allow children to stay connected to friends and family without the distractions of social media or games. They also protect them from contacting or being contacted by untrustworthy individuals.

Educational behaviorist Robyne Hanley-Dafoe agrees, advising that parental control software is a very efficient way of monitoring a child’s internet and phone usage. In particular, she advocates for software that allows parents to set time limits on specific apps, overall screen time, and block harmful or inappropriate content.

“The key is open communication,” concluded Dorn. “Let them know why you’re involved, so it builds trust rather than resentment.”

6. Safety Breaches Can Be Used to Build Trust and Responsibleness

Sometimes a parent may discover that their  child has accessed a questionable website. Dorn advises that parents should first and foremost stay calm. “The last thing you want to do is cause your child to hide things from you in the future,” she cautioned. “Start by having an open conversation to understand how the connection was made and why. If the connection is harmful, take immediate steps to block or remove it.”

“Use this as a learning moment to talk about online safety and what kinds of behaviors or connections should be avoided,” she recommends. “Most importantly, keep the lines of communication open, so your child feels safe coming to you if they encounter something troubling.”

Parents exercising a proactive, common-sense awareness of their child’s online activity may be the best way to help a child or young teen avoid developing a problem.