We encounter a dizzying number of people over the course of our lives. In some cases, hopefully a small number, certain types of conflict or tragedy can make the experience uncomfortable. If that occurs, here are suggestions to manage it.
The Ex-Files
“Love Seminar” author Helen Chen says that 85 percent of relationships end badly, making the chances of running into an ex possible when both reside or work in the same area. Unless the breakup was mutually amicable, the best way to minimize an uncomfortable situation is to politely acknowledge each other without breaking stride. If the encounter occurs in an elevator or at a restaurant, pretending you don’t notice them may allow them to avoid feeling uncomfortable.Office Mates
Managers face the dilemma of coming into contact with workers they have let go. If the separation was simply due to economics and you’d happily rehire them if possible, enthusiastically greet them; it’s smart to maintain the relationship. However, if their separation was the result of poor performance or unacceptable behavior, keep the contact polite, professional, and as brief as possible. If they discuss their termination, advise them to contact your company’s HR department.Family Feud
According to a recent study by the law firm Wilkinson & Finkbeiner, almost 50 percent of marriages in the United States end in divorce. In the event you find yourself face-to-face with an angry friend or family member of your ex, accept the fact that the encounter may not be pleasant. Extricate yourself with dignified grace, even if it means agreeing with them that you were in fact the bad guy.Banishing Bullies
Sadly, many people enjoy intimidating and denigrating others at work, in social situations, or in public. The best option is not to engage with them, as that encourages their inappropriate behavior. We cannot hope to change them, but we can control how we react. If they’re a co-worker or your superior, report their behavior to your manager or HR. In a social situation or with a stranger in public, create and maintain your distance.The Lost Spouse
Death is a certainty, but that doesn’t lessen the devastation it can cause to loved ones. A chance encounter with a recently widowed spouse is an opportunity to show them compassion and caring. It’s not uncommon for the surviving spouse to feel lost and adrift as friends keep their distance, uncertain as to how to proceed with the relationship. Be the friend they need; reconnect and assure them you’re there for them.
