We’ve all heard angry kids say “I didn’t ask for you as my parents,” but it goes the other way, too. With a little effort, you can be the child your parents hoped for.
Listen and Be Patient
Listening, fully and completely without distractions, shows respect, but is also a great way to learn new things. As children age, it’s not unusual for them to disregard parental advice, but in most cases, our parents are smarter than we give them credit for. They will treat you as a respected adult with great ideas when you return the favor. This just might encourage them to listen more carefully to you as well.The Gift of Quality Time
Being a parent means spending an inordinate amount of time with a child, even if there are other responsibilities looming or things they’d rather be doing. As children grow up, it’s perfectly natural that they will pull away to embark on their own adventures. The biggest gift you can give to parents is the gift of time; spend quality time with them on those occasions when it’s not expected, not just on holidays and birthdays.Forgive
Your parents had to learn as they went with you, no doubt doing their best but sometimes making a few unintentional mistakes. As the child, you might have made a few mistakes as well. Now is the time to take a deep breath and learn to let go of resentment, opening the door to making every new moment the best it can be. Forgive yourself as well for actions you may have made that damaged your relationship with your parents.Take on More Responsibility
Children living at home need to step up and take part in normal household chores, from doing the dishes to taking out the trash—without being asked. Being an active, willing participant in the household not only prepares children for real life, but also helps instill a sense of responsibility and respect. Adult children no longer living at home should step up to make minor repairs or pay for and prepare a holiday meal, without being asked to do so.Be Compassionate
As parents and children age, the relationship dynamic gradually but inexorably begins to shift, with parents evolving from being the caretaker to being the ones cared for. When their physical and mental abilities eventually begin to decline, be there for them, without being asked and with no need for thanks. This can be a trying time for both sides. As your parents try to hang on to being in charge, you, the child, need to be respectful and understanding.
