Baby Charlie Wilcox passed away peacefully in his parents’ arms on Oct. 5. He lived for “41 beautiful minutes,” which were filled with unconditional love and God’s grace, and he was free from pain.
“This has been the greatest test of my faith so far in my life,” Madysen told The Epoch Times.
“Charlie has taught me so many things, but the greatest lesson he taught me was that I am not in control. He taught me that there is a bigger plan and that God knows what He’s doing—I’ve learned that I can get through anything with the help of God. ... Charlie opened my eyes to the fact that having faith is everything.”
The Birth
Earlier this year, Charlie was diagnosed with Alobar Holoprosencephaly (HPE) and several heart defects. Madysen was advised to get an abortion, but she instead chose life.Madysen and her husband, Darin Wilcox, had no indication of how long Charlie would live—whether it would be minutes, days, weeks, or longer than that. Facing such a traumatic situation led the couple to draw closer to their faith in God.
“The last few weeks of pregnancy were a very spiritual time for me,” Madysen said.
Speaking to Charlie as he lay in her womb, she whispered words of comfort and strength. He may only have a short life on Earth, but she was determined to make that life full of love and peace.
“As we got closer to his birth, me and Darin would have nightly conversations about what our lives would look like with each possible outcome,” she said.
They still had no way of knowing how long he would live after birth—whether he would pass immediately or live for weeks and have to be hooked up to feeding tubes. As time waned, Madysen felt at peace.
“I really made a conscious effort to cherish and savor all of his kicks and movements toward the end, knowing that soon I would be longing to feel those movements again,” she said.
However, Madysen grew emotional, especially during the week of the scheduled induction on Oct. 3. Drawing inspiration from the “10-4” signal in radio talk that translates to “message received” or “I understand,” she wanted the induction process to begin on the 3rd so that Charlie could be born on the 4th,
Due to short staffing, the induction process did not actually begin until 1 p.m. on Oct. 4. After 17 hours of labor, Charlie was delivered in a frank breech position on Oct. 5. Having experienced so many unexpected changes during her pregnancy, Madysen believed the timing of Charlie’s birth was fitting.
“Throughout this entire pregnancy, it didn’t matter what we wanted—Charlie was always going to do his own thing,” she said, speaking of his birth.
It was as if he was reminding his parents that God is indeed in control of everything.
In the first few moments after the birth, she and her husband still did not know if Charlie was alive or not. Detecting a faint heartbeat, the doctor assured them he was alive.
“When they first placed him on my chest, I felt a combination of joy, heartbreak, love, compassion, sadness, and relief all at once,” said Madysen. Her husband affirmed that he felt the same.
For the next 41 minutes, Charlie was embraced in his parents’ arms.
“He never suffered, he never struggled, he was just at peace,” Madysen said.
By the time his siblings and grandparents arrived, Charlie had gone to a better place. Although they arrived late, the relatives still got the chance to admire the “perfect little” Charlie—created in God’s own image. The Wilcoxes’ eldest daughter Hayvn and her brother Harvey took turns holding their little brother, cherishing him.
“The peace that was in that room was immeasurable,” Madysen said.
The burial ceremony was simple and filled with love. Madysen, her husband, and Charlie’s siblings each placed a special item in Charlie’s casket. Standing in unity, the couple placed the casket in the earth together.
Journey of Love and Loss
Sharing that her pregnancy with Charlie was the greatest trial she has ever experienced, Madysen said that she has learned what it means to entrust control to God. Drawing support from her faith, church, family, friends, and community has helped her navigate the grief.“I could not have gone through this pregnancy without my faith and the help of God,” she said.
Despite the heartbreak of losing him, Madysen said Charlie’s birth was “one of the most peaceful experiences” she had ever gone through. She does not have regrets about carrying Charlie to term. All that Charlie knew, Madysen says, was love—inside and outside of the womb. Knowing that gives her peace.
When asked what she would advise families in similar situations to do when faced with such hard circumstances, Madysen had a heartfelt message. Hard times may come, she said, but we are in control of how we respond.
“We get to choose if we will overcome the trial and make it out even stronger or if we will succumb to our trials and let them win, causing us to be bitter and angry and hopeless,” she said.
Today, Madysen and her husband each wear a bracelet engraved with their beloved son’s name. Among other keepsakes they have selected to remind them of him, these bracelets keep his memory alive.
“For such a huge tragedy, I can still see all the beauty that has come from this pain,” said the mom. “I know that from our greatest trials can come some of our greatest blessings.”
