Kaytlin O’Neall and Drew Brown are a happy young couple from Texas. The 21-year-olds are engaged and have plans to marry soon. But there’s something about this young pair that makes them different.
They have set strict boundaries concerning intimacy and are committed to honoring their purity.
“Right before I started dating Kaytlin, we talked about physical boundaries, and she mentioned how she wanted to wait to kiss until the wedding day,” said Brown, a business finance student at Texas A&M University in College Station.
“I asked her dad for permission to date and had a man-to-man conversation with him about dating her in purity and pursuing her heart selflessly. It was one of my favorite conversations with him.”
“Don’t follow the crowd,” he said. “Your character is vitally important and part of who you are ... so don’t compromise it for anything.”
‘Relationships Aren’t About What’s Easy’
Neither of the pair has ever dated anyone else, and they’ve navigated many seasons together. Their relationship is currently long-distance, but they see one another every few weeks. It hasn’t been easy, but they say it’s worth it.“Relationships aren’t about what’s easy—they’re about choosing who you want to face life’s challenges with,” O’Neall said.
She says setting physical boundaries has helped them bond at a deeper emotional level. The couple has many friends who kiss freely and O’Neall stresses that she and Brown “never judge” others for doing so.
“Choosing to wait until we’re married doesn’t mean we think any less of others who kiss or that we see it as wrong in any way,” O’Neall said. “For us, not kissing has been a powerful decision in maintaining our commitment to physical purity.”
Brown is on the same page. “I believe a kiss is very significant,” he said. “Kay and I have always thought of kissing as an intimate thing and something we don’t want to give to just anybody. For us, it’s our present we’re waiting to unwrap, and we’re so excited to have our first kiss on our wedding day!”
Saving themselves for marriage has not always been easy, they admit. When they feel the pull of temptation, they find solace in reading the Bible together, changing their environment, or being around supportive friends and family.
“A lot of this journey is about renewing our minds daily,” O’Neall said. “Focusing on how grateful we are for each other and our relationship, rather than on what we can’t do right now, keeps us grounded.”
Encouragement for Men and Women
The couple also hopes to encourage those who want to pursue purity but feel it may be too late.“Regardless of what your journey has been, what may have happened to you, or the choices you’ve made, every day is a fresh start,” O’Neall said. “... The truth is that God doesn’t look upon anyone shamefully for their past. Instead, He desires to guide our choices daily, if we’re willing to walk with Him in it.”
Brown added: “[Y]ou may be someone who has had lots of struggle with maintaining purity in relationships. That doesn’t mean you’re too far gone to start that now. God’s grace covers everything. ... Kay and I believe in you. No one is too late.”
O’Neall recommends couples openly communicate, identify their personal triggers, and then apply the boundaries.
“No matter what your faith or worldview, physical intimacy is deeply personal and binding—psychologically, biologically, and even spiritually. Someone who genuinely respects and cherishes you deserves that level of connection, rather than it being shared with just anyone,” she said.
‘Love Is Selfless Not Selfish’
O’Neall and Brown’s story traces all the way back to seventh grade when they met and struck up a friendship. In high school, the dynamic between them began to change.“As I got to know Drew and saw his heart, I knew he was someone I wanted to pursue a relationship with,” O’Neall said. “... We both wanted to build a strong foundation of friendship before bringing a romantic element into our relationship, so we spent six intentional months focused on friendship before officially dating on Jan. 5, 2021.”
Their reason for this, Brown said, was that they wanted to take things slower, be patient, and “date someone worth marrying.”
On Oct. 5, Brown proposed. With a wedding day not too far in the future, the couple looks forward to the special moment when they will be able to share their very first kiss.
“It’s something we cherish and hold dear, the fact that we’re saving our first kiss,” Brown said.
