In the summer of 2000, Adam Davis spent every free moment with one particular person: Amber. Both were 18, both had just graduated from high school, and, as Davis says, “We were absurdly in love with each other.”
One afternoon, Davis and his grandfather were sitting on the front porch of their house in Dothan, Alabama, when his grandfather turned to him and said, “The only thing the two of you don’t do is stay in the same house together. I’ll set up the wedding for next Saturday and find you a place to live.”
Which is exactly what he did.
Hard Times and Wounds Unhealed
When asked why he had married so young, Davis replies, “I felt like I had life by the horns and everything figured out.”Like many other young men, Davis soon discovered how wrong he was. Over the next 15 years, he and Amber faced tough times financially and spiritually and experienced the good and bad seasons of marriage. Davis worked a variety of jobs, from bank teller to construction worker, until 2009, when he became a law enforcement officer. The stress and rigors of that service took their toll on him and his marriage. He grew distant from Amber, his “best friend,” to the point of separating from her and his children and moving into a “shack” on his father’s property.
“Worry, anxiety, stress, and doubt had a grip on me and were consuming my life,“ he said. ”I began having terrible panic attacks, becoming physically ill, and snapping at those I loved dearly.”
During these up-and-down days, Davis also carried traumas suffered during childhood. He was 5 years old when an older male, unrelated to his family, sexually assaulted him. When he was a young teenager, a woman who had charge of his care from time to time plied him with alcoholic drinks and seduced him. These dark parts of his past, when added to the broken connections in his relationships as an adult and the overwhelming sense of failure he felt in his life, brought him to a rendezvous with himself. One evening, he parked in an empty lot, sat alone in his patrol car, and with tears streaming down his face, drew his service weapon and prepared to end his life.
A New Way
In his recently released book, “Unconquered: 10 Principles to Overcome Adversity and Live Above Defeat,” Davis recounted in detail his failings and mental health battles before coming to that dark moment in his patrol car.“In the instant I cried out to God in utter imperfection and wretchedness, he met me,“ he wrote. ”Right there, in a marked patrol car. To this day, I am thankful no one stopped to ask for directions or needed aid. It was definitely my God moment.”
He returned to Amber that same evening, where he explained to her that God had intervened in his planned suicide, and together, they set out to find the path back to their old love and to a healthier life.
Faith First and Foremost
In an interview with The Epoch Times, Davis specifically addressed three of the principles that had led him back from the abyss and that he tries to share with others.First among these is his religious faith.
“I had to completely surrender to God in that patrol car,” he said of that evening when death came so close to him.
“Live surrendered” is one of Davis’s mottos, meaning that throughout the victories and defeats of life, he now remains obedient to the messages of scripture. Although some people have advised that he tone down or abandon the biblical and spiritual references in his books, pointing out that he might sell more if he did, Davis refuses.
“That is my deepest conviction,” he said. “There’s no sum of money I could sell my convictions for.”
The Treasure Box of Friendship
In an age in which many commentators regard loneliness as an epidemic in our culture, Davis strongly advocates the value of friendship in his books, his talks to groups around the country, and in our conversation.“Cherish your relationships,” Davis said.
Just a few of the influential figures he mentions from his own life, in addition to Amber and their three children, are his pastor, John Dowdy, “a friend and a brother,” and a former police chaplain, Mack Ballard.
“My dad and one of my friends from elementary school, Heath, are also two of my best friends,” Davis said.
In “Unconquered,” Davis wrote: “One of my dear friends and a retired law enforcement officer, who happens to be my neighbor, says it like this, ‘If they don’t make you better, they aren’t your friends.’ If you are spending time with people who don’t challenge you or people who are constantly draining you of energy, even relationships that are one-sided, it’s time to evaluate those associations.
Trust in the Future
“Hope makes all of our tomorrows bearable,” Davis said. “Without it, we are really lost.”In the chapter of “Unconquered” titled “Now Is the Time,” he expanded on the vital importance of hope: “I recently saw a meme on social media that said, ‘Live. Learn. Hope.’”
Those three words, which he described as both simple and profound, sum up his journey from boyhood to the present. He lived, although often unhealthy in mind and spirit; he learned to change through experience, faith, and the help of others; and today, he finds hope in his faith and in his deeper understanding of himself.
Adam Davis is a down-to-earth man who’s pointing us to the stars, telling us that we aren’t meant to be prisoners of our past. Like him and millions of other Americans, we may have suffered deep trauma. But, as he reminds us repeatedly, it’s our scarred mindset, not the trauma itself, that often locks us in the cell of the self.
If we get help, whether from friends, a therapist, or a renewed religious faith and if we learn from our past, then hope becomes the key that unlocks the door of that cell and sets us free.
