R | 2h 3m | Drama | 2025
Adapted from the 2018 novel of the same name by Sigrid Nunez, “The Friend” is co-written and co-directed by Scott McGehee and David Siegel. The film might just be the most literate and cerebral “shaggy dog” (a family-oriented fantasy comedy) movie ever made. It is at once heartwarming, uplifting, bittersweet, complex, and intellectually stimulating.
Delayed First Meeting
Iris and Apollo don’t meet until 30 minutes into the nearly two-hour movie, an example of the many great facets of the screenplay. The filmmakers take their sweet time in doling out character backstories and the thorny details of Iris and Walter’s friendship.
A celebrated literature professor and author, Walter was twice divorced, three times married and fathered a child out of wedlock (Sarah Pidgeon as Val). Yet he was held in high regard by everyone he knew, including all of the women he left in his wake.
Walter’s first wife Elaine (Carla Gugino) and Iris get along great, but neither of them care for Tuesday (Constance Wu), wife number two. Walter’s widow Barbara (Noma Dumezweni) is the “Switzerland” in this equation. She later informs Iris after his funeral that he was the one who wanted Iris to adopt Apollo.
Pet People
I’ve been a pet person my entire life. Every friend and relative I know have pets. I’m willing to guess all of us expect to outlive our pets. That’s not the case here, something Walter makes happen with his suicide.
He takes a huge gamble in leaving custody of Apollo with Iris, a person who neither wants nor is prepared for the chore. What does Walter know about Iris that she doesn’t? Pawning the care of another living being without prior consent is amazingly inconsiderate for both pet and human, and not the sort of thing one friend does to another.
Emotional Roller Coaster
As Iris, Watts embarks on a roller coaster of emotional highs and lows, as she contemplates options to find another home for Apollo. At first, all Iris wants to do is get rid of him; this is not out of dislike or inconvenience, but because she feels Apollo deserves better. She’s not up to the task.
It likely won’t come as a surprise that “The Friend” occasionally follows a few time-tested shaggy-dog tropes and narrative beats. The two leads (yes, Apollo is the male lead here) are thrown together against their wills. Neither is interested in meeting in the middle or making the best of it. Both of them would rather be elsewhere.
Effortless Gravitas
Even when not physically present, Murray’s Walter leans heavily into the margins of the entire film. An extended fantasy scene late in the third act between Murray and Watts greatly underscores his effortless gravitas. Often discounted because of his success as a comic actor, Murray’s dramatic chops are frequently overlooked. For proof, check out “The Razor’s Edge” (1984) and “Broken Flowers” (2005).
For those familiar with Nunez’s book—be forewarned—the filmmakers totally changed the ending, and I like the movie ending better. The most appealing aspect is that the ultimate fates of Iris and Apollo aren’t revealed until the last 30 seconds of live-action screen time. Long before this point in the movie, we hang on every frame of film waiting to see how it all pans out.
I would wager my last dollar that every person living with a pet will shed a tear at least once while watching “The Friend.” That’s the nature of these kind of films.
“The Friend” doesn’t shortcut, cheat you, or takes the easy way out; it thoroughly earns your emotional investment and delivers a huge benefit in the process.
