Over 20 years ago, a pregnant high-schooler, fearing that her dreams and ambitions were at stake, scheduled for aborting her unborn son after Planned Parenthood counseling convinced her that she was carrying nothing more than a “clump of cells.”
But a family intervention led to a change of heart, and she forged her life path toward purposeful living and inspiring others. Her son is now a 21-year-old young man.
Today, Becky Martin is a happily married mom of eight and a vocal pro-life advocate from her home in the Midwest. Regaling her life story to The Epoch Times, the doting mom, and an avid math lover, said “motherhood is not a drawback” and kids are “not detrimental” to success.
“These lies need to stop,” Becky said. “We do not need to kill our future generations in order to succeed. Nor should we view our fertility as a burden. It is beyond sexist to believe that women must destroy the very thing that makes us unique in our womanhood—the ability to carry and birth children—in order to be equal to men.”
However, Becky admitted that transitioning from a deceived teen to a well-grounded pro-life mom was a “long process” in itself. “It took ten long years,” she said.
“Ten years of shame, denial, and defensiveness. Ten years of me stubbornly digging my heels in, parroting the tired, inaccurate, ‘My body, my choice’ rhetoric. I knew, deep down, that it was not my body but my son’s body that would have been killed.
A Mom’s Inner Calling
Reflecting on her teenage plans to abort her son Blake, Becky said that she was “probably one of the worst types of pro-choicers” because she wasn’t naive or uneducated.“He was not merely a ‘clump of cells’ or ‘tissue’ as Planned Parenthood described in my pre-abortion counseling,” she said. “I knew that abortion killed an innocent human being, but I didn’t care. The world had done an excellent job of convincing me that a baby would ruin my life. I’d be doomed to a lifetime of poverty, struggle, and failure.”
“In my mind, my life was more important, and I was going to use my born-privilege to do whatever I wanted. My heart was cold, and my mind was selfish. My plans were more important than my child’s life.”
Becky’s abortion was scheduled for a Monday. But several family members found out and held an intervention. Describing the scene as “extremely awkward and uncomfortable,” Becky complied to cancel her appointment.
“Now, of course, I am immensely grateful,” she said. “They didn’t just save Blake’s life, but also mine.”
Rising Above the Lies
Looking forward to single parenthood, Becky sought out resources for single mothers, allowing herself, the would-be teen mom, to stay in school and finish her studies. But gossip traveled fast. Becky even received hate mail. But she learned quickly to ignore the opinions of others.“I wouldn’t label it as ‘bullying,’ but my community’s reactions were intense,” said Becky. “Many of my peers expressed support for whatever I chose. A few adult reactions were kind, like my priest, while others were harsh. Some desperately wanted my baby.”
She was four months pregnant when she graduated with honors as a valedictorian. She went on to community college to study Math, and in the fall of 1999, her freshman year, Blake was born.
“Balancing school and parenting was a challenge, but I was extremely determined and focused on two things: being a good mom and completing my degree,” she recalled. During study breaks, Becky would collect Blake from the on-site daycare for lunch and playtime.
“This was the exact time in my life when I learned I needed to ignore others’ opinions,” she said. “The people most affected by this were my son and me, so these were the two people whose opinions mattered. I was very driven to achieve my goals, so my main focus was on being a good mom and finishing school.
Sharing Healing and Hope
Before long, the mom-son duo became a trio when Becky met Obie Martin, now her husband of 16 years. Becky was smitten with Obie’s sense of humor and his acceptance of her 2-year-old son.“Becky and I met in physics class,” Obie said. “At some point during the semester, she moved from her lab table over to mine and that’s really when we officially met. She was beautiful and smart ... and we’ve been together ever since.”
“I loved Blake, so it was only natural to adopt him after we married,” Obie said.
Blake is grateful things turned out the way they did. “Given the circumstances, it wasn’t the easy-way-out route to go,” Blake said.
“I applaud my mother for taking it upon herself to do what she did. I would define it as the best possible outcome I could’ve hoped for.
“I’ll also never be able to thank my father enough for taking on the responsibility of being the great father to me that he was, and still is, to this day. I don’t remember a time in my life where the two of them weren’t there.”
Becky and Obie share seven children besides Blake, three of whom are adopted: Ava, 14; Parker, 10; Sean, 9; Maggie, 6; Duncan, 4; Leia, 3, and Elijah, 1. Becky taught middle school math for 10 years, but after adopting from China, she decided to become a full-time stay-at-home mom.
Obie said: “We’ve been blessed with the resources to do it, the temperament to handle it, the support system—including our kids—to make it work, and the love to give.”
Becky, expressed her love and appreciation of Obie’s support, saying, “It’s wonderful to be with someone who values children and knows the importance of giving back. It’s a big job raising 8 children, and we do a great job of working together to raise our family.”
Obie describes family life as “controlled chaos ... I rarely have any free time,” he admitted, “[but] I’m also never bored! Every triumph, success, and a little bit of joy that prods me out of bed in the morning can be directly attributed to this family of mine.”
As a family with firm faith in God, the Martins want to teach their children to “pay it forward” with the gifts of life they have been given to help the world.
Becky’s passion has become the pro-life movement.
“Blake was Blake from the second he was conceived,” she said. “Just like all of us, he was formed in the image of God. It was not my place, nor any other woman’s place, to play God and determine who lives and dies.
“If I can prevent other women from experiencing that, I will. Now, I’m dedicated to living a pro-life life. For us, this means sharing resources with women to help them parent, adopting, sponsoring, donating, educating, advocating, and more.”
Obie added, “I hope we can create a society where women ... don’t feel the need to terminate out of fear. There are so many options now, so many organizations that help moms or create adoption plans.”
