After welcoming a baby boy with Down syndrome at the age of 43, a mom of three teenage girls was worried that her children wouldn’t be able to bond. Four years on, the loving connection between her son and his “girl gang” is stronger than she ever thought possible.
Stay-at-home mom Jennifer Hogan, 48, met her husband, 49-year-old Ryan, at church on a college skiing trip. Married for the last 22 years, the couple lives in Jacksonville, Florida, and has four children: 18-year-old twins Claire and Caitlyn, 15-year-old Caroline, and 4-year-old Hudson.
Jennifer and Ryan had known that Hudson—who has been the biggest surprise of their lives—likely had Down syndrome since a 12-week prenatal test revealed a 97 percent chance. On learning the news they were devastated, however, their girls were not so concerned.
“At the time I thought that was just because they didn’t know better,” Jennifer told The Epoch Times. “Now, looking back, I think their reaction was perfect! They were just like, okay, this is unexpected, but this little boy is going to be so much fun! They couldn’t wait for him to get here and join the gang.”
While expecting Hudson, Jennifer was also worried about how his arrival would affect the family dynamics. She worried that her girls would resent the attention he needed and wouldn’t be able to bond with their baby brother because of his differences and the age gap between them.
She was also concerned about the added stress caring for a child with Down syndrome would put on her marriage and, on a personal level, whether she could love her son as much as she loved her girls.
“I’m deeply ashamed of those thoughts, but I’ve always been open about them because I feel like it helps others who might find themselves in my shoes see how capable they really are,” Jennifer said.
However after Hudson came into the world on July 19, 2018, the entire family fell head over heels in love, and Jennifer’s initial worries were put to rest.
“He stole our hearts the day we met him, and he has them still. There is nothing we wouldn’t do for that precious boy. He brought us all closer together and connected us in a way we didn’t know we needed,” Jennifer said. “The bond my girls have with their brother is the biggest surprise and sweetest blessing of all.”
According to Jennifer, the girls roll around on the floor and play with Hudson every day of their own volition. They take their curious, fearless brother to the playground and the beach, spend their money on toys for him, play hide-and-seek and make-believe games, have dance parties, and are never embarrassed to run and play with Hudson in public.
The sisters also love “showing off” Hudson to their friends. In turn, the 4-year-old adores his sisters.
Jennifer said: “Hudson thinks his sisters hung the moon! He misses them when they are at school, and when they come home, he runs and gives them the biggest hugs and then drags them off to go play. It melts my heart every time.”
One of Hudson’s favorite activities is “restaurant,” a game he made up himself. Jennifer said: “He will seat his sisters at a table, even pull out their chairs, and then pretend to take their order ... Hudson isn’t yet articulating his words well enough to understand everything he says, but that does not hinder him one bit! It might take a couple of tries, but eventually, the rest of us catch on to what he’s telling us.”
As a mother the most rewarding moments for Jennifer she says are catching Claire teaching Hudson his colors, finding Hudson riding on Caitlyn’s back while she pretends to be a dinosaur, and spying on Hudson holding Caroline’s face in his hands as they both smile at each other with love.
“What I did to deserve this, I’ll never know,” Jennifer said. “The truth is, being Hudson’s mama is a blessing and a privilege. It’s not at all the burden I was expecting. We feel like we hit the jackpot with Hudson because we did!”
Despite his incredible love for life, Hudson’s health journey is ongoing. He has an atrioventricular septal defect, a form of congenital heart disease found in 50 percent of babies born with Down syndrome, and had successful open heart surgery before his third birthday to repair his heart. He still attends regular cardiology appointments.
Hudson also has hypotonia which is a decreased muscle tone that affects the muscles and ligaments throughout the body. This condition is common among those with Down syndrome.
“This is why many milestones like crawling and walking are delayed, but it’s also why speech is more difficult,” Jennifer said. “Hudson has been in speech, physical, and occupational therapy most of his life. We actually love going to therapy and find joy in working towards his goals.”
Once upon a time, Jennifer worried about who would take care of Hudson when she and Ryan were no longer around. Today, witnessing Claire, Caitlyn, and Caroline’s abundant love for their brother, she doesn’t worry anymore.
