One New York-based mom who has been criticized for her “lazy” approach to parenting has revealed how her twin toddlers have blossomed since she began to engage them in kitchen activities.
Originally from Tajikistan, Aziza Bobojanov and her husband began fostering their kids’ independence when they were 17 months old.
“Ever since we began involving them in tasks like serving their breakfast or helping with daily activities such as cooking, cleaning, and even assembling furniture, we’ve noticed a significant decrease in tantrums,” 28-year-old Mrs. Bobojanov told The Epoch Times. “It’s become evident that the more they engage in these activities, the happier they are. They no longer seek attention by crying out because they feel included in most of our home routines.”
After reading numerous books on child development, Mrs. Bobojanov, a Javascript engineer, adopted the Montessori approach that advises parents to engage their children in kitchen activities by dedicating accessible shelves and a cabinet for their utensils and dishes.
However, since the Bobojanov family resides in New York, they are faced with space constraints. Thus Mrs. Bobojanov innovated a functional mini kitchen that was specifically tailored to the needs of her twins.
“I initiated their involvement in organizing the breakfast table when they turned 2 years old as an initial step towards independence,” she said.
Mrs. Bobojanov noticed that when the twins first explored their mini fridge, they “instinctively understood” how to arrange the items on their breakfast table as they took out the necessary ingredients from the fridge.
The video has amassed over 700,000 reactions and many positive comments. Some social media users are surprised upon seeing the kids cracking an egg with just one hand, while others fawn over the cute little kitchen that’s been specially designed to maximize the limited space in their urban apartment.
While 90 percent of the comments from social media users are supportive and encouraging, Mrs. Bobojanov said some believe her kids are “too independent,” and that the parents should let them just be kids.
“I’ve come to realize that it’s impossible to please everyone, and there will always be judgment from someone,” Mrs. Bobojanov said. “Frankly, I’ve learned not to let criticism about our parenting approach bother me. Our family operates in a way that suits us best, and I’m not imposing our techniques on anyone else. What matters most is that this approach works effectively for our family, and that’s what truly matters.”
Mrs. Bobojanov creates age-appropriate tasks for her kids by relying on her instincts.
“You never know a child’s capabilities until you give them a chance,” Mrs. Bobojanov said. “We often underestimate toddlers’ abilities, but they’re incredibly sharp and keen observers of our daily routines.”
The twins have mastered the art of peeling and slicing hard-boiled eggs and can skilfully prepare smoothies with yogurt, banana, frozen berries, almond butter, and oats. The little chefs can also independently set and tidy their breakfast table in addition to being good at slicing various fruits and soft vegetables.
Another big achievement is that they can pour water from the dispenser and milk from the pitcher on their own whenever they are thirsty.
The Montessori advocate sits with her sons to support them whenever needed, such as when they have trouble spreading almond butter or opening jars. Through her experience, she’s come to realize that it’s a delicate balancing act that requires an understanding of when to step back and a great opportunity to practice patience.
“There are moments when it can be a bit challenging, especially when we’re in a rush and the twins insist on doing everything themselves,” she said. “It took me a while to accept that accidents like breaking dishes or spilling beverages were part of their learning process.”
Whenever a mishap occurred, to help her stay calm and composed and allow the twins to process the situation, Mrs. Bobojanov would count to 10.
“Surprisingly,” she said, “they quickly learned to handle fragile items. While spills still happen occasionally, I no longer need to count to 10 because the twins instinctively grab a kitchen cloth to clean up the mess they made.”
Looking back, the mother of two believes that it’s all worth it because her boys have gained confidence and a sense of achievement from being involved. Additionally, their fine motor skills, creativity, and crucial life skills are all being developed. The parents have also seen that the twins now have a newfound interest in food.
“They never liked hard-boiled eggs until they started peeling and slicing hard-boiled eggs by themselves,” Mrs. Bobojanov said.
Her goal is to eventually have them prepare their own breakfast and to, in the long run, foster self-sufficiency.
“Ultimately, our aim as parents is to raise respectful, reliable, and successful adults,” she said.
Through this journey, Mrs. Bobojanov has been able to create many amazing memories, including the time the kids learned to make pizza from scratch.
“Witnessing their excitement as they made their favorite food, pizza, was priceless,” she said.
On another occasion, when the boys woke up grumpy due to not sleeping well, Mrs. Bobojanov reminded them about breakfast, and their mood instantly changed.
“As we headed to the living room, I reminded them to open the fridge,“ she said. ”Their eyes lit up with sheer excitement despite still having tears from waking up in a bad mood.”
“Their joyous reactions, jumping around and enthusiastically naming each item in the fridge, truly touched my heart.”
For those parents interested in trying Mrs. Bobojanov’s approach, she advises involving kids in kitchen or household tasks from as early as 12 months old and exploring various child development books to establish the approach that best suits your family and aligns with your parenting style.
