Mark Twain’s Short Story, ‘The Danger of Lying in Bed’

“The Terminus, Penzance Station, Cornwall,” 1925, by Stanhope Alexander Forbes. National Railway Museum, York, UK. Train travel can be treacherous, but not as dangerous as lying in bed, in this humorous short story by Mark Twain. Public Domain

Traveling by train was a favorite mode of transportation for renowned author Mark Twain. He rode the rails throughout the country. Travel can be fun, exciting, and adventurous, but accidents can happen.

Despite the dangers of traveling, the author worries far more about the fatalities that happen while lying in bed. In his short story “The Danger of Lying in Bed,” Twain looks at his life and statistics through an amusing lens.

Travel Insurance

Twain enters the ticket office, ready to buy his train ticket. When the ticket agent asks if he also wants to buy accident insurance for his train travel, Twain responds: “No, I believe not; I am going to be traveling by rail all day today. However, tomorrow I don’t travel. Give me one for tomorrow.”

The ticket agent looks at him with confusion. He tries to reason with Twain: If he is riding the train today, then he will want an insurance ticket for today. Nevertheless, Twain assures him that the train will be safe. “Lying at home in bed is the thing I am afraid of,” he says.

After having ridden the train for years without incident, Twain is certain that he doesn’t need accident insurance tickets. Every time he buys one, he never experiences any disaster or danger on the railroad.

Concerning Statistics

After some serious research, Twain calculates that more people die in their beds in New York than they do on the Erie railroad. The Erie railroad carries a million people (the population of New York at the time) in six months, and 13 to 23 die on the road within those six months. Whereas, in New York within six months, 13,000 people die in their beds.

Upon discovering this difference, Twain’s “flesh crept, [his] hair stood on end.” In this shocked, bewildered state, he says: “The danger isn’t in traveling by rail, but in trusting to those deadly beds. I will never sleep in a bed again.”

Yet he has not finished his calculations. He calculates that one million of the U.S. population die every year. Out of this million, 10,000 to 12,000 die of sudden death (drowning, murder); “the Erie railroad kills 23 to 46; the other 845 railroads kill an average of one-third of a man each; and the rest of that million, amounting in the aggregate to that appalling figure of 987,631 corpses, die naturally in their beds!” His fear lies in a bed, or rather, he fears lying in a bed.

Through this amusing story, Twain emphasizes that throughout the many dangers and disasters of life, a joyful spirit is paramount. This can bring laughter to the dullest, most mundane, most difficult, most trying times and places.

Laughter is important, as Victor Hugo says in “Les Misérables”: “Laughter is sunshine, it chases winter from the human face.” Twain encapsulates this laughter in the humorous spirit of his story.

The moral of his story may invoke a double take of what’s really important in life and, possibly, inspire a smile amid life’s problems and concerns.

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