A Minnesota couple will soon celebrate their 75th wedding anniversary and are sharing their secrets to a long life and a happy marriage and how they’ve kept faith at the center of everything.
Hazel Bollinger turned 100 in November 2023. Her husband, Norman Bollinger, will turn 100 on Feb. 28, 2024. The couple, who first met in June 1945 and “courted by mail” until they tied the knot in South Minneapolis in 1949, will have been married for 75 years on June 10, 2024. Together they have four children, seven grandchildren, and 20 great-grandchildren.
A Chance Meeting
Born in Post Falls, Idaho, Mr. Bollinger was a farmer in Flasher, North Dakota, on his family’s farm until turning 23, when he enrolled for a pre-dental science certificate in Arkansas. Mrs. Bollinger was born in Milbank, South Dakota, graduated high school, and would later become a nurse.
The couple met by chance after Mr. Bollinger agreed to be the best man at his neighbor Carol’s wedding in Minneapolis, a story that boasts four “miracles,” the first being his father agreeing to let him off plowing duty that week.
“We would take my buddy’s car, a ‘39 Chevy. It took two days in that old Chevy,” said Mr. Bollinger, who, after a “great” wedding, got stuck talking to the groom’s mother in the backseat on the way home and grew weary.
“She was a non-stop talker,” he said. “I came to the conclusion that I’m not going to be able to do this all the way back to North Dakota. ... I suddenly remembered there was a big church annual camp meeting going on in Buffalo Lake Pavilion, and my cousin from North Dakota was going to be ordained as a minister at that conference. So, I told Carol to drop me off at the lake. This was miracle number two.”
Elsewhere, Mrs. Bollinger had been preparing for a trip to California with her brother when she “woke up to a nagging inner voice” telling her to stay home. The next day, her minister’s wife requested her help as a camp guide at Buffalo Lake Pavilion, and she agreed to attend.
“This was miracle number three,” said Mr. Bollinger, who first noticed his wife-to-be in the choir at camp church service.
“I spied the most beautiful young woman in a white blouse and blue skirt,” he said. “Not only did she attract my heart but also my spirit. I knew I needed to meet her.
An Unusual Courtship
The couple soon realized how much they had in common, most importantly their Christian upbringing. But, living 500 miles apart in Minneapolis and North Dakota, the next four and a half years were “not typical courting time.”
“That was a challenge, and we did most of our courting by mail,” Mr. Bollinger said. “That summer I learned to fly and bought my first little airplane. I was able to fly to Minneapolis four times to see her. By early 1947, I bought a faster airplane, and I also enrolled at John Brown University in Siloam Springs, Arkansas. ... I spent all holidays flying to Minneapolis and spending great and wonderful times with Hazel and her family, my dream girl.”
Deeply in love, the couple married on June 10, 1949, at Christian Missionary Alliance Church in South Minneapolis, Minnesota. They had a double wedding with Mrs. Bollinger’s sister, Phyllis, and her husband, Ken. Mr. Bollinger had only one family member at the wedding—his cousin, who was best man—since his immediate family lived out of state and couldn’t afford the trip.
The newlyweds left the wedding in a ‘42 Chevy for their honeymoon. Five days later, they returned to their newly purchased lakeside cabin to a big surprise.
“The neighbor ladies, friends of Hazel, had set up all the beds and furniture in the house and cleaned it up inside,” Mr. Bollinger said. “It was just a great entrance into our first home we ever had, the first of seven that we would have in our life. Lots of great memories and events have transpired since, in the past 74-plus years.”
After raising four children, Mrs. Bollinger went back to school to qualify as a nurse and provided mostly in-home care until she broke her ankle at the age of 80 and had to retire. Meanwhile, Mr. Bollinger who was unable to afford dental equipment after getting married, worked as a tool room machinist until going back to school at the University of Minnesota to complete a teaching degree.
He taught mostly 8th-grade science throughout his 20-year teaching career, after which he and his wife bought and ran nursing homes. Upon retiring from the nursing home business, Mr. Bollinger worked for a delivery courier service making local and nationwide deliveries until he retired for the last time at the age of 97.
“It was something I enjoyed, and I could take Hazel with me,” he said. “We traveled all around the country together and had a lot of fun, made a little extra money; but it wasn’t the money, it was more about doing something we liked.”
‘God at the Center of Everything’
Among Mr. Bollinger’s best memories of married life are their honeymoon; having babies; vacations with their kids in a pop-up camper; and seeing their children graduate, marry, and start their own families. However, there are too many memorable moments to name a few, the couple said.One of the couple’s grandchildren, U.S. Air Force veteran and retired IT program manager Tonya Banther, of Mountain View, California, says watching her grandparents over the years has been “such a gift.”
“They have demonstrated what marriage is supposed to be,” she said, “a life-long commitment to one another through the good times and bad, with God at the center of everything. They go everywhere together, and they hold hands everywhere they go. They are just the cutest!”
They have also made incredible sacrifices for one another over the years.
“Last year, my grandma fell and broke her hip. She had to go to rehab for several months,” Mrs. Banther said. “My grandpa drove to the rehab center every single day, through Minnesota snow and ice, and stayed with her from morning until evening, at 98 years old. This was such an outward and visible display of love and commitment, and I will always remember this.”
Among many accolades, Mrs. Banther describes her grandfather as “hardworking, patient, humble, joyful, and kind,” a man who can fix anything, and her grandmother as “loving, caring, generous, and spunky,” a woman who has “always opened up her home to anyone that needs one.” The pair has been a rock in the family for as long as she can remember.
One of Mrs. Banther’s most treasured memories of her grandparents is Mr. Bollinger reading the Christmas story every year on Christmas morning with his wife by his side, a tradition upheld by the grown-up grandkids to this day. “We still try to schedule a time over Zoom for Grandpa to read the Christmas story,” Mrs. Banther said. “I think it’s something we will all cherish for the rest of our lives.”
When the Bollingers got married, they decided that if ever they should argue, Mr. Bollinger would go outside until the pair cooled off. Today, the 99-year-old jokes, “So, the secret for long life and a happy marriage is ... outdoor living!”
Additionally, Mr. Bollinger also said: “Be a good listener, admit when you are wrong, share your feelings. Be complimentary and say ’thank you,' laugh a lot, have good friends, and be able to forgive. Keep going! Look for the positives, don’t get bogged down in the negatives.”
Over their seven decades together, the couple said that God has played a daily role in their relationship and family.
“We thank him for our marriage every day,” Mr. Bollinger said. “Keep close to God and he will keep close to us. If you have faith in God all you’ve got to do is ask, and it’ll be done.”
