Dear Next Generation.
It’s important to look at the deeper meaning behind Valentine’s Day because there’s a lot more going on besides heart-shaped boxes of chocolate, flowers, and teddy bears. The concept of love is definitely worth exploring. I believe that not only is true love possible but that it’s the ideal natural state of every human being.
I make no pretensions of being an authority on this subject, but I’ve found that you don’t have to be. You just have to believe in it. True love is real, and it’s incredibly powerful. It’s hidden, yes, and some people never discover it, but that doesn’t change the fact of its existence. It has a lot of imposters and imitators in the world, but true love isn’t something people can cook up or manufacture or even imagine. It’s either there or it isn’t there. Like buried treasure, it awaits someone to actively seek it or stumble on it. And when it’s found, it’s worth relinquishing everything else for.
True love often takes a long time to reveal itself and can survive devastating setbacks. An honest history of a truly wonderful marriage will often reveal a trail of mind-numbing daily trivia, confusing and frustrating problems, and even inexplicably tragic events. But if the bond is there, the marriage will not only survive these things but grow stronger because of them.
But there’s something even more profound here. The people who have the greatest understanding of love, whether married or single, have tuned into the astonishing finding that life is meant to be a romance on a spiritual level. This involves an incredible adventure and is the material of the loftiest wisdom and the finest fairy tales. The plot is very similar to that of “Beauty and the Beast,” where Belle learns to trust and later love a man whose appearance frightens her and whose ways she finds mysterious. Once she decides to abandon her life to him, regardless of what that may mean, she’s able to see him as he truly is, her future is unlocked, and the vistas of true love are opened to her.
It should also be remembered that Valentine’s Day itself is named after a man who became known as St. Valentine. Historians have written that he was ordered to be executed by Emperor Claudius II because he refused to renounce his faith. He put his life on the line rather than give up his belief in the God he loved. Love is that deep and that profound.
There’s no question that the quest for true love demands the utmost courage and faith. We are, after all, in a world that’s sometimes cruel, occasionally crazy, and often unfair. It’s very daring to decide to love when it’s humanly impossible to do so. But I’m convinced that it’s the only quest worth pursuing.
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If you can communicate effectively, it doesn’t necessarily mean you can lead. But if you can’t communicate effectively, you can’t lead.
The fear of speaking in front of a group of any size is real and a constraint for all too many people—young and old. It’s one of the main reasons that so many people fail to maximize their potential. In fact, public speaking is often listed as the No. 1 fear of individuals. Heights, going to the dentist, snakes, and flying are the second, third, fourth, and fifth of the greatest fears, but speaking tops all others.
It can be paralyzing; it was for me in high school. Whenever I had to give a presentation, even if it was simply a book report, I would feign illness. Fortunately, in college, all students were required to take a speech class. I remember walking out of the building after giving my first three-minute speech and feeling like I had just been told that I didn’t have cancer—it was such a relief to have it over.
It’s difficult to convince many young people that working on their communication skills (speaking, writing, and listening) are as important or more important than their athletic skill. If I had children, I wouldn’t care if they played baseball, football, basketball, or ping pong. But I would be adamant that they work on their communication skills so they didn’t make the mistakes I made in my youth.
If you’re giving a presentation and have the option of its length, err on the side of brevity. Very few speeches are too short. In seeking advice for a commencement speech that I was asked to deliver years ago, I contacted the only health care executive I’ve ever known who has exceptional speaking skills. His only advice was: “Always leave them wanting to hear just a little bit more.”
One last piece of advice to anyone of any age who’s going to give an important presentation. It isn’t enough to practice it a couple times. You need to practice it until you can’t stand the thought of doing it one more time. Then, and only then, are you ready to give the presentation.
It’s wise to follow the axiom of the Navy SEALs: “We don’t train until we get it right. We train until we can’t get it wrong.”
