Dear Next Generation: Marriage Lessons Learned the Hard Way

Dear Next Generation, an advice column from readers to young people. Photo by Shutterstock

Marriage lessons learned the hard way, including nuggets of wisdom from my third wife, also in her third marriage, this one lasting 25 years:

1. In a “trial marriage,” the one on trial is the one who cares the most, and there is nothing right about that.
2. Learning lessons the hard way can result in lifelong consequences; learning the easy way (heeding wisdom) can result in lifelong blessings.
3. Give up bad habits/behavior.
4. The one thing you will ever do perfectly in life is prove God right, one way or the other.
5. Learn God’s ways and adopt them as your own; join a church and attend regularly.
6. Keep God the mainstay of your marriage. Pray together often.
7. Become friends with couples who strive to do things right.
8. Consider your spousal partner before self in thought and deed.
9. Grant each other veto power over major decisions—rarely, if ever, invoked. This will encourage effective communication and win-win compromise.
10. Share your thoughts and feelings freely and honestly, but learn when to keep your mouth shut. Good timing saves bad.
11. Forgive easily; never carry a grudge or weaponize past mistakes.
12. Never let your spouse go to sleep at night without knowing he or she is genuinely loved.

Ken Webster, Oklahoma

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Dear Epoch Times,

My father, Fred Marvin, who lived to be three days shy of 99, gave me only one piece of advice my entire life: “Always do the right thing.”

The only rule I ever was given to live in his house was: “Don’t ever tell me a lie.”

Those two sentences led me on a lifelong journey:

I must be able to discern right from wrong.

I can never lie to my father.

Doug Marvin, Pennsylvania ___________

What advice would you like to give to the younger generations?

We call on all of our readers to share the timeless values that define right and wrong and pass the torch, if you will, through your wisdom and hard-earned experience. We feel that the passing down of this wisdom has diminished over time and that only with a strong moral foundation can future generations thrive.

Send your advice, along with your full name, state, and contact information to [email protected] or mail it to: Next Generation, The Epoch Times, 229 W. 28th St., Floor 7, New York, NY 10001.