Healthy masculinity is when men flourish first for themselves, then for their families, posterity, and communities. A man embodying healthy masculinity knows who he is.
He is physically healthy and strong. He is pursuing and developing his skills and capabilities to make him more competent and able to take action. He has a sense of agency, drive, and desire to make his mark on the world, not just have the world make its mark on him. He is someone who exists in a world where it is realistically possible for him to develop his potential, fulfill his own ambitions, and leave a posterity and a legacy for the future.
There is no one-size-fits-all description of healthy masculinity (and thus a healthy man), but identity, actual health, development of potentialities, genuine accomplishment in the real world, and a legacy are the core.
Men embody this through many roles and archetypes. We can think of the explorer, the settler, the warrior, the scientist, the philosopher, the artist, the builder, the king, the priest, the monk, the trader, the craftsman, the father, etc.
Some men embody healthy masculinity through extremes—the hero, the world-class athlete, the saint, someone on a quest for greatness or pursuing the audacious idea, a man facing an extreme trial or difficulty or even death, etc. But others embody it through the ordinary rhythms of life: establishing a trade, obtaining a household of one’s own, building a family, raising children to exceed his own accomplishments, or leaving an inheritance. Most men embody it as part of a group of other men, such as in a military unit or sporting team, but some do so in solitary pursuits, such as the hermit or lone genius. Most will have a family, but some will focus on an all-consuming pursuit.
Healthy masculinity understands the identity and legacy a man has inherited, and seeks to extend that, in turn, to engage in “praiseworthy competition with one’s ancestors,” as has been attributed to Tacitus. A man’s legacy is most often his family, his descendants, his community, or tribe. He seeks to create this legacy, to build it up, and even to sacrifice himself for it at times. But while sacrifice for the sake of legacy is a part of healthy masculinity, it isn’t reducible to that. The man who simply blots out his own well-being, ambitions, and fulfillment for the sake of others isn’t exhibiting a healthy masculinity.
- Self-confidently be an American man, without being debilitated by attacks that call that identity or its value in question.
- Pursue health and fitness, such as by eating right, exercising, and avoiding drugs and excessive alcohol consumption.
- Develop skills and competence, which could involve starting simple by making minor home repairs or a more audacious move like learning a new language.
- Strive for greater degrees of excellence in what you do.
- Develop and pursue your own goals and ambitions in life, such as starting a business, having a home in the country, or revitalizing your hometown. Men don’t need to apologize for having their own goals and things that are important to them.
- Find other men for friendship and common endeavors: a “band of brothers.”
- Pursue and build a family, understanding that the degree of difficulty is much harder today, so you have to be consciously working at it and understand how to mitigate risks such as divorce.
- Actively train up your children to thrive in life, and help them build a life throughout their life, culminating with leaving them an inheritance.
- Invest in your community, such as by volunteering at a church, civic organization, or charity.
