Wake-Up Call: Etiquette 101 Refresh

Mastering these basics will take your etiquette finesse from zero to hero

When on a bus or the subway, good manners dictate that you give up your seat for any pregnant, elderly, or disabled passengers left standing. Prostock-studio/Shutterstock

In social situations, purses, briefcases, and shoulder bags should be carried on the left side. This keeps the right hand available for handshakes. Here are some other oft-forgotten rules that might be keeping you from being an etiquette virtuoso.

Be Present and Attentive

Technology can be great, but not when we are too busy paying attention to our phones or tablets and ignoring those around us. When in a meeting, either in-person or via Zoom or similar systems, turn your phone off. You can check missed calls and texts after the meeting.

If you are expecting a critical call that you have to accept, talk to the meeting organizer beforehand, explaining the circumstances. Set your phone to mute so that if the call comes in during the meeting, you can discreetly excuse yourself to take it without disturbing everyone else. During meals, turn the phone off.

Give Up Your Seat

Here’s a well-known rule of good manners that has since fallen by the wayside: While on a bus or the subway, give your seat to someone who needs it more than you do. This could be a pregnant woman, an elderly person, or someone with a physical impairment that makes standing uncomfortable.

This rule can also be applied to airline travel. If you notice a parent and child traveling together, but one is next to you and the other a few rows away, consider changing seats to allow them to be closer to each other.

Don’t Snoop

Curiosity is normal, and it may have you wondering what someone has stashed away in their desk at the office or tempted to sneak a peek in the cabinets in a friend’s bathroom. However, it’s beyond rude to snoop and can be extremely embarrassing if you get caught in the act, which will happen sooner or later.

The internet has also become a new and easy tool to snoop around on social media sites to learn more about a co-worker or a neighbor. If you’re curious about someone, ask yourself whether it’s appropriate to simply ask the individual. If your answer is no, let it be. If your answer is yes, make the effort to connect and get to know him or her.

Be on Time

Showing up right on time is a sign of respect, whether it’s for work, a date, or to meet friends at the beach or for a night out on the town. Arriving more than 15 minutes late sends a signal that you don’t care about their time or feelings. Some people believe that consistently arriving late shows a sense of style, but that’s far from reality.

Being prompt also helps organize your life; when you know you need to be at work by 9 a.m. or meet friends for a movie at 8 p.m., you can then schedule how long it takes to get there, how long to get ready, and so on.

Don’t Let a Bad Mood Make You Rude

It’s understandable to occasionally be upset—maybe by something that occurred earlier in the day—but you must “rise above it” and not carry it over into subsequent meetings or interactions with people who have no connection to it at all. If you realize you are being rude to friends, family, co-workers, or even the clerk at the store, apologize and admit that you let an earlier situation affect your behavior. In stressful situations, take a breather and do a self-check to spot and squash any inklings of rudeness.