They call her “Mama Bennett.”
Destiny Bennett, a married 29-year-old mother of three boys, aged 8, 5, and 3, has spent her entire life around children.
After growing up in a home daycare run by her mother for 18 years, she went on to work as an afterschool program teacher and to study early childhood development in college. Following marriage, she traded in her college pursuits for life as a full-time mom. She has been self-studying child development and childhood psychology ever since.
Bennett told The Epoch Times that hers is a family that homeschools and works from home, which gives them plenty of time to bond and stay in tune with one another. In their “close-knit” family, Bennett values communication as a material and meaningful part of the relationship.
“I’d like to think that I’m that mom that my boys will grow up and feel comfortable talking to me about everything,” she said.
Recently, Bennett shared a moment she had with her 5-year-old son on social media. Captured by the family’s front-door security camera, Bennett can be seen eye to eye with her child as she works with him to overcome a meltdown.
Bennett told The Epoch Times that her son was angry because he wanted a toy that belonged to his brother. Seeing him upset for so long, she decided to take him outside for a walk.
In the video, she kneels outside the front door and addresses her child: “Do you know how much I love you?” she asks her son. Bennett extends her arms to her full wingspan and shows her boy the expanse of her love for him. “I love you, like, more than this much,” she says.
“I can see how angry you are, and I want you to feel better,” she said. Then, she takes the time to talk with her son—without emotion, without anger, without yelling.
She tells him: “Sometimes, feeling better is getting the things that we want. But sometimes, we can’t get what we want. And it’s ok to be angry, but then we have to be able to let it go and understand that we’re not going to get it.”
Bennett’s son can be seen nodding and then, after a big hug and kiss, they ran around the block together.
“After we talked, he lightened up a lot and we raced around the block,“ she told The Epoch Times. ”By the time we got back home, he was his happy normal self.”
Describing her 5-year-old as “very sweet and super affectionate,” she said that he asks for hugs at least five to six times a day, and that he is quick to bestow adoring comments on his family members. “He feels very deeply, which, in my opinion, is why many of his emotions are amplified,” she added.
Understanding her child, Bennett’s focused time and the reaffirmation of her love was the right ingredient on the day of the recording. However, she knows that the recipe for success is not always the same. She recognizes that tantrums and meltdowns vary in size and shape, and so do the myriad things that cause them.
“All of my children are different and all of their needs can vary depending on what’s causing their meltdown, but their meltdowns almost always come down to a root need,” she said.
“I just try my best to stay in tune and bond with them so I can be aware of and meet their needs. Sometimes that need is a hug and some quality time, sometimes it’s a snack, sometimes it’s a nap.”
Along with communication, Bennett focuses on the principles of “love, respect, empathy, and kindness” in her parenting.
“I try to incorporate and keep mindful of those principles in everything we do in our home, whether it be how I address them, how they address me, or how they address each other,” she said.
- See if there is a need that they need met. Children developmentally struggle to manage their emotions and will often use meltdowns as a poor attempt at communicating a need.
- Work to get them calm first before trying to correct their behavior. Children are more receptive to corrections when they are emotionally stable.
- Take care of yourself! It’s difficult to handle anyone else’s emotions if we haven’t taken the time to access and manage our own emotions and mental/emotional state.
