Building Resilience to Stress

Stress can sometimes push us to be better, but all too often it wears us down.

Volodymyr TVERDOKHLIB/Shutterstock

Like it or not, stress is part of life. But not all stress is bad. Stress can sometimes push us to be better. For example, short bursts of stress have been shown to boost our immune system. Other research shows that a little dose of stress can improve our ability to sustain our attention.

Of course, stress can also be destructive and distracting—particularly chronic stress in high doses—a major risk factor for serious disease.

Balancing the Scales of Stress

While a little stress can improve our concentration, too much can hurt our ability to navigate our lives. Studies have found that chronic stress can negatively impact creativity, and just thinking unrelenting stressful thoughts can impair our cognitive function.

Stress can even shrink our brains. In a 2012 study researchers from Yale University determined that “cumulative adversity” is associated with smaller brain volume, particularly in regions of the brain regulating emotion and self-control.

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So how can we harness the positive aspects of stress without tipping the scales into self-destruction? Dr. Stephen Sideroff, an associate professor at UCLA’s Department of Psychiatry & Biobehavioral Sciences, and an internationally recognized expert in optimal performance, offers several ideas on how we can weather stress better.

Mr. Sideroff’s new book, “The 9 Pillars of Resilience: The Proven Path to Master Stress, Slow Aging, and Increase Vitality,” suggests that the key to keeping stress from wearing you down is to build your resilience to it.

“When we do that, then we keep our bodies in a place of balance,” he said.

Mr. Sideroff’s resilience-focused perspective on stress formed over the past 40 years, and was informed by both his years in brain research, as well as his clinical experience.

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“I realized very quickly in my work with addiction that a person can be going along okay, but as the stress adds up, it begins to break down their coping abilities. And that’s why a certain percentage turn to drugs,” he said.

Studies have identified stress as one of the main risk factors for the development of drug addiction—when an addict decides to quit, stress remains an obstacle. Research shows that as people make their way toward sobriety, at the very top of the list of things that trigger relapse is stress.

Why do some turn to such destructive behavior when life gets tough? Perhaps it’s because stress is found to be a key factor in how well we make decisions and handle our emotions. A behavioral science journal article from 2017 notes that “stress exposure influences basic neural circuits involved in reward processing and learning, while also biasing decisions towards habit and modulating our propensity to engage in risk-taking.”

Still, with all the damage stress is known to cause, it’s impossible to avoid it entirely. However, we have more power to minimize stress than we might imagine. Consider that we subject ourselves to an excessive amount just by the thoughts we hold, such as when we ruminate over worst-case scenarios, or constantly berate ourselves with negative self-talk.

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Mr. Sideroff finds that people are typically resistant to change in this regard, even when it’s clear they should. He recalls giving workshops for corporate executives on how to deal with stress. Attendees were enthusiastic about the ideas he presented but were never quite able to take them to heart.

“Invariably, when I would meet some of these people, two or three months later, not a single one had followed through with any of the things that we talked about,” Mr. Sideroff said.

According to Mr. Sideroff, one big reason we have trouble letting go of all this self-inflicted stress is that we believe it serves us. We can look back on particularly stressful situations and directly point to the good that came out of them, and we equate that feeling with success.

“If you think of all the successes you’ve had in your life, I guarantee you that almost, if not all, have been associated with stress,” Mr. Sideroff said. “Whether it’s that important meeting that is going to make a difference in your career, or you have to give a presentation or take a test. All of these things that lead to success are associated with stress.”

Survival Mechanism

Despite the negative impact stress can have on our mind and body, the stress response exists to help us. This basic instinctual survival mechanism is meant to kick in during life-or-death situations. The fight-or-flight feeling we get when faced with a stressful episode spurs us into action, forcing us to do whatever might be necessary to overcome and live another day.

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From a biological perspective, this is characterized by a surge of stress hormones (particularly adrenaline and cortisol).

However, for the vast majority of the stresses we face, fighting or running aren’t appropriate responses, and yet that fight-or-flight feeling remains. According to Mr. Sideroff, this leads to an inner tension that saps our energy.

“Our bodies mobilize, meaning we use up resources. We tense the body, but then we have to hold all of that energy in, which actually requires additional energy to constrain that energy,” Mr. Sideroff said. “You could walk into a meeting with a boss and be worried about the outcome, and your body is mobilizing because of the danger. But then you have to sit there and hold all of that energy intention.”

Although many of us have come to rely on this stress-fueled anxiety to push us through our day, this shortsighted strategy can eventually lead to burnout.

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This is because we’re not meant to constantly live on edge all the time. Once danger passes, our body needs to release that tension and repair all the inflammation that stress can cause.

This recovery state (the polar opposite of fight or flight) is often referred to as a state of rest and digest, where stress hormones drop, inflammation fades, and our resources get replenished so that we’re better able to address the next stress we’re forced to face.

If we never give ourselves a chance to recover, we’re left to suffer through the next stressful episode with fewer resources, throwing our mind and body further out of balance.

“You can handle one danger, but then you’re starting to be concerned about the next. Where am I going to get the money for my next rent check, or what’s going to happen tomorrow at work?” Mr. Sideroff said.

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Unfortunately, most of our day is built around stress. There are often many stimuli that can reliably trigger a sense of danger and push us into survival mode. Meanwhile, we usually don’t take much time to initiate our relaxation response.

Finding ways to tap into that rest-and-digest mode is important because when we’re stuck in a harried, stressed-out state, we’re less likely to find a thoughtful solution.

“In dangerous situations, you just want to react. So you don’t think as well when you’re under stress,” Mr. Sideroff said, explaining that the threat of danger (both real or perceived) causes physical, mental, and emotional constriction. In this state, your body shifts resources from the prefrontal cortex area of the brain known for its creativity, to the more primitive, reactionary areas of the brain.

“One of the reasons why exercise is so important is it gives our bodies an opportunity to release that buildup of energy,” he said.

Self Acceptance

Mr. Sideroff’s book offers several strategies to free yourself from this stressed-out, reactionary mindset so you can begin to make more calm, creative, and productive life decisions.

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One deceptively easy place to start is by simply accepting where you are now—warts and all.

A common way we stress ourselves out is by imagining we should be much further along in life. We should be smarter, thinner, or more together than we currently are, and we constantly blame ourselves for falling short.

However, Mr. Sideroff suggests that this mindset only serves to make us more frustrated, and, therefore, less equipped to deal with the circumstances we face.

“Every time you get angry with yourself, and every time you feel you should be further along the path, you’re giving yourself a continual negative message. You’re saying to yourself, ‘There’s something wrong with me. I’m not okay. I’m not good enough.’ Every time you feel you should be one place and you’re someplace else. You’re telling yourself there’s something wrong with you for being where you’re at,” he said.

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To some, this strategy may at first seem lazy and counterintuitive. After all, if I don’t hold myself to a higher standard, how will I ever improve? Mr. Sideroff says this constantly disappointed, self-deprecating mindset only serves to waste resources that could be better spent on things we can control.

To be clear, accepting where you’re at isn’t the same as complacency. You can aspire to improve, while still accepting the reality of the moment.

“You can’t be in two places at the same time. So if I’m at point A, I can’t be at point B as much as I would want to be at point B. Right? And the more I’m able to accept myself for being at point A, the faster I will get to point B because I will not be getting in my own way,” he said.

‘Islands of Safety’

Another way to tune into the rest-and-digest state and preserve your resilience to stress is to employ what Mr. Sideroff calls “Islands of Safety.” These are times and places in your day or life where you allow yourself to let your guard down.

You can extend this idea to people you feel safe with, as well. “It’s so important to start noticing all your relationships with others as a source of danger or a source of safety,” Mr. Sideroff said. “Because that’s going to determine whether you have given yourself an opportunity for recovery, or if it’s another situation in which you expand survival energy.”

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Over time, we can change that misguided understanding which imagines stress as the key to our success, and realize that we’re far more adaptable, creative, and flexible when we treat ourselves with compassion.

“The key element of a healthy internal voice is a voice that comes from a place of acceptance, love, support, and care. And when we give that to ourselves, we set ourselves up for greater success,” Mr. Sideroff said.

Views expressed in this article are the opinions of the author and do not necessarily reflect the views of The Epoch Times. Epoch Health welcomes professional discussion and friendly debate. To submit an opinion piece, please follow these guidelines and submit through our form here.