For the past week, rodents have been wreaking havoc in the Big Apple. After shutting down a Dunkin' Donuts in Manhattan, they ventured to the venerable home of the cronut, forcing the closure of the Dominique Ansel Bakery. The bakery was able to reopen today, but while humans gained ground in one area, they lost it in another.
Video was uploaded to YouTube of a rat terrifying subway riders. Though already ubiquitous in subway stations, always scurrying around the tracks, one intrepid murine adventurer trekked onto a large contraption of steel housing dozens of Monday morning commuters of the downtown A train. And though out of its element, the rat put fear into the hearts of a few thousand pounds of murophobic human.
New Yorkers are ready to wave the white flag. It is only a matter of time until the world’s greatest city has fallen.
This is all our own fault. We took away their greatest triumph when researchers stated that rats did not spread the bubonic plague in London. Now the rats have set their sights on New York.
Long live our rodent masters.
