Tionna Marsh drops a dollop of ultra-moisturizing mango-butter and carrot shampoo into her palm and holds out hope that, one day, her 1-year-old daughter, Avia, won’t grow up hating her hair.
Rubbing both hands together, the mom massages a lather into Avia’s scalp over the kitchen sink. This has become a ritual for the D.C.-based mom of two, who recalls sitting in her own mom’s lap while she cared for Tionna’s ultra-curly and laborious type-4 hair.
Now Tionna and Avia bond the same way.
After rinsing and applying a hot oil treatment, the mom sprays conditioner onto Avia’s hair and wraps a towel around it to soak up the excess moisture, then lays Avia down on the couch for a nap. After cleaning up the kitchen in peace, Tionna plunks herself down beside her daughter and sips on a well-deserved drink.
“My mom was a natural hairstyler, so she knew exactly how to care for her hair, but I know that a lot of us are not experienced with this hair,” Tionna, 31, told The Epoch Times of those who struggle with their type-4 hair. As a young girl, Tionna helped at the salon where her mom worked and did braids for her friends later in high school before becoming renowned for haircare in college.
After becoming an educator, hairstyling fell by the wayside for Tionna, who later quit teaching to homeschool both her kindergarten-aged son and baby Avia. The mom decided early on that Avia should learn her hair is a “blessing,” not a burden, even though it might take more time to manage and take care of.
“When you don’t know how to style or achieve a look you’re looking for, I think that you can become very frustrated,” Tionna said.
“Many of my friends had perms,” she said, noting her high school circle, who used chemicals to make their hair permanently straight. A perm, she says, is a quick fix because it eventually grows out, and that makes type-4 hair harder to maintain in the long run.
Caring for this hair type is a learning curve that takes time to master. The ins and outs of type-4 hair aren’t always self-evident, and someone with wisdom may need to pass down that special haircare knowledge—as Tionna’s mom did for her.
Tionna is now doing it for Avia.
Their ritual began in the bathtub.
For the 1-year-old to sit still in the tub and let Tionna treat her hair was a nightmare at first. A horrible experience for Avia wasn’t what Tionna was going for, so she meditated on the matter. They moved to the kitchen sink.
“I started to give her sink baths to relax her an hour before her nap, so she can get very sleepy,” Tionna said. The mom threw in songs and dancing interspersed with breaks to recreate the same bonding Tionna once experienced with her own mom. Within weeks, it became a cherished haircare ritual.
Soon, Tionna started to video their beautiful moments in the kitchen and post them to Instagram. They went viral. Tionna and her husband are content creators who share their home decorating journeys online. Avia has now elevated their viewership to new heights.
Major news outlets and magazines contacted the mom, inquiring about their sudsy, frizzy hair ritual. Many viewers with type-4 hair also tuned in and began to receive Tionna’s message about the hair type they were born with.
“God gave us this hair for a reason, and our hair is beautiful,” Tionna said. “Just because something might seem difficult doesn’t mean it’s not worth it. Some of the hardest things in life are the best lessons.”
Viewpoints about type-4 hair have changed thanks to Avia’s ritual. Many parents were even inspired to try it with their own children and shared comments about how much joy and healing it brought—not only related to their hair but also their relationships.
“Those comments really bring me so much joy,“ Tionna said. ”I understand that some of us have had horrible experiences with our hair as little girls, as teenagers, as adults, and I think those sorrowful experiences made us hate our hair.”
She added, “It really should give us the motivation to learn how to deal with our hair instead of turning away from it.”
