Almost immediately, the ongoing wildfires ravaging Los Angeles began causing ripple effects felt locally, nationally, and eventually, globally. Far from the most pressing time-sensitive issue is how the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences (AMPAS) will proceed with its annual Oscar awards ceremony.
The immediate sign that AMPAS began to correctly read the room was its delaying the cutoff date for receiving Oscar nomination ballots. This was originally going to be Sunday the 12th, then it was moved to Friday the 17th, and then to Sunday the 19th, and finally to Thursday the 23rd.
This decision wasn’t made exactly for humanitarian reasons but rather to allow the 9,905 voting AMPAS members who live in the Los Angeles area (which is most of them) time to regroup, resettle (however temporary), and get their priorities in order. Not exactly a Nobel Prize-worthy decision, but it’s a tiny step in the right direction.
As of now, the date for the Oscar ceremony remains as scheduled: Sunday, March 2. In my opinion, that date won’t change, but I do feel it’s not when it takes place that matters. It’s under what conditions and, possibly, where the winners in the 23 competitive categories will be announced.
First Option: Business as Usual
Whether the country is going through good times or bad, the one thing most people think of, as it pertains to the Academy Awards, is glamour. Limousines, red carpets, swarms of global press, and evening gowns that cost more than what the average American makes in a year draped over perfectly made-up and coiffed women wearing jewels worth more than many single-family U.S. homes.Even during the Depression, World War II, or in the months following the Sept. 11, 2001 disaster, Hollywood’s biggest night never missed a beat. It featured mostly beautiful, somewhat talented, people in all of their ostentatious glory, flaunting their celebrity for the entire world to see, including the many less fortunate. Watching the Oscars provided a level of fantastical diversion if only for a few hours.
However, holding the Oscars in the same city that might still be burning will be perceived by most as aloof, uncaring, self-absorbed, and beyond tone-deaf. Based on my 30 years in this industry, the producers of the show will likely add insult to industry by forcing the onstage presenters to make “heartfelt” speeches about their less fortunate neighbors devastated by the wildfires. Or worse, they might talk about how their own lives were upended.
Option Number Two: Tone It Down
From where I’m sitting, this is the second-least bad option. Take away the fawning and garish red-carpet fanfare, the appearance of obscene wealth and privilege, and self-congratulatory backslapping, and turn the ceremony into something that more closely resembles a dinner put on at the Des Moines Lion’s Club. Announce the names of the winners, allow them to come on stage to pick up their awards and return to their seats without giving any speeches.The winners will still get their Oscars, AMPAS will come off as semi-heroic and socially aware, and all of the nominees will bank major goodwill with the regular people paying their salaries.
Option Three: Relocate the Ceremony
This option is the second worst fallout as it also hurts Los Angeles-based working people. How would relocating the ceremony be a good idea? Hey, I didn’t say any of these options were desirable; in fact, I stated all of them were bad, just some less so than others.So where could AMPAS relocate the ceremony on such short notice? There are three cities that immediately spring to mind, all of which could handle a sudden heavy influx of VIP travelers and their entourages: San Francisco, Atlanta, and Miami.
San Francisco is the closest, it’s still in California, it’s relatively close to Los Angeles, and there are some parts of the city that remain tolerable. The average median daily temperature there in March is 55 degrees, which means some of the ladies might also need to don fur stoles or fashionable parkas.
Atlanta is good because it’s been one of the top movie production cities for well over a decade; but the average temperature in March is 45 degrees, which could mean full fur coats or bigger parkas might be needed.
From a weather standpoint, Miami is the best choice as the average low temperature in March is 68. AMPAS could be daring and have the ceremony on the beach and allow the attendees to wear their finest designer swimwear.
Option Four: An Oscar’s Telethon
This is easily the best of all four bad options. The ceremony can still be held at the Dolby Theatre in Los Angeles, which would have little negative effect on the local economy. Instead of the nominees sitting in the audience all dolled-up, they would be on the stage in street clothes manning around 100 landline phones accepting donations from viewers that would go to noncelebrities affected by the wildfires. The only break they would get would be if they win, then it’s back to the phones.Last week, a colleague of mine jokingly suggested that ABC should reposition the Oscars as a pay-per-view event, again with proceeds going to a wildfire relief fund. I replied that this would only drive the ever-declining TV audience down even further.
Whatever AMPAS decides to do, it’s going to come with strong negative blowback from one group or another or possibly everyone. There’s no way to come out on the other side of such a glitzy event under such dire circumstances unscathed.
