The alarm sounds every morning at six, but as Anne Wagner explained, no one’s off to work or school in this Mocksville, North Carolina household. Since 2022, Wagner has been the primary caretaker for her husband Ric, who retired in 2019 as the CEO of Piedmont Federal Savings Bank.
“It’s time for the first medication, and then I do early morning exercises with Ric. When you have Parkinson’s, you have to think big and act big, because one of the characteristics of Parkinson’s is that everything is small. Your writing is small, your voice smaller. So we do the big exercises first, moving our arms and shouting out when we do that about four times.”
Using a walker, Ric then makes his way to the bathroom, where Wagner helps him into the shower. After starting breakfast preparations in the kitchen, she helps her husband dress. “He has trouble bending over, and I help him just so he can get moving faster in the morning. Then I prepare breakfast. We also begin the morning with prayer and reading. One of the things Ric does is he reads to me in the morning, and I read to him in the evening, a devotional that’s all scripture.”
Excursions
Though routine commands their days—exercises, timed medications, and the necessities of living—Wagner spices up this regimen with some fun and adventure. “Ric and I bought a golf cart, and since he can’t go very far with the walker or the rollator, we drive through the countryside—we live in the country—and that really helps him. Occasionally he’ll drive the golf car with me in it, because he can no longer drive a car.”Wagner also plans outings farther away from the home and the neighborhood. On Wednesdays, for example, the couple goes out to lunch or dinner at a restaurant, and every 10 days or so she plans a day trip for them, driving into the nearby mountains or even just to another area of town. “It gets us out of the house, like a date.”
On Tuesdays and Thursdays, a caregiver comes to the house for four to six hours. While there, he takes Ric to the local Rock Steady Boxing, which is part of a chain of gymnasiums using the pugilistic arts to ease the symptoms and slow the progression of Parkinson’s. On these days, the caregiver frees Wagner up to go shopping, pick up prescriptions, and occasionally have lunch with friends.
A Vocation of Love
Since 1990, Wagner and her family lived as next-door neighbors to her parents. During that time, with her own two children still at home, she helped care for her father, who suffered ill health and Alzheimer’s before passing away in 2021. “It was during COVID, and I couldn’t even be with him. It was beyond terrible.”When her mother suffered a stroke in 2002, Wagner assumed responsibility for her care as well. She helped with the cooking, shopping, housekeeping, and medications. After her mother and father entered an assisted living facility in 2015, she made visiting her mother a part of her routine. “There are occasions where I get Ric into the car, and we go together. Sometimes he’ll wait in the car, and sometimes he uses his rollator to go into the room where we both encourage my mom.”
If life gave out degrees for such accomplishments, by now Anne Wagner would likely have earned her doctorate in caregiving.
Invisible Volunteers
Many of these caregivers also work at jobs outside the home. The combination of caregiving and employment results in added stress and expenses, and negatively affects the American economy with absenteeism and the loss of jobs. Moreover, busy caregivers are less inclined to attend to their own good health, which then creates additional problems and expenses.4 Caretaking Essentials
Well aware of the toll these responsibilities exact from caregivers, Wagner counters with four main strategies: physical exercise, personal time, perspective, and faith.Physical Exercise
In addition to joining her husband for his exercises, Wagner also works out on her own. “When he’s in the kitchen in the morning, shaving and having his quiet time, I do online exercise so I can stay in shape and fit, and he’s excited for me to be able to do that, to just have that time.”Personal Time
In addition to her Tuesday and Thursday hours when she shops or meets a friend for coffee, Wagner also makes sure she takes some extended time for self-care. When she spoke to The Epoch Times, for instance, she was taking some R&R at Emerald Isle on North Carolina’s Outer Banks. “I really have some ‘accountability friends’ that I’m down here at the beach with who pray with me all the time back home. These gals are bringing me coffee in bed, which is just awesome to be cared for by others, knowing that you have to replenish your caregiving batteries.”Perspective
Our attitude regarding any situation, Wagner believes, also heavily influences how we handle it. For more than 40 years, she and Ric had crossed paths, but it was only when Ric was widowed and Wagner divorced that a nudge from a mutual friend brought them together. They fell in love, and marriage followed in 2015.Faith
That mutual faith is a powerful bond. “We greatly appreciate each other and the Lord bringing us together, and so there’s been just great joy in the midst of the difficulty, and Ric is as kind and compassionate and loving to me. That keeps me going, and we sing a song, ‘This is the day that the Lord has made,’ back and forth to each other almost every day. Ric is truly a champion. He encourages me and is a joy to care for.”Alongside that image of God as an anchor Wagner applies a different metaphor for caregiving. “I’m a keeper of the springs,” she tells people. “A keeper of the springs is someone who keeps the trash out of the water source, which is the life source, and keeps the water flowing so that their family can be nourished and healthy. That was and is my job, to provide the food and the home as the keeper of the springs.”
