Strangers on a Train: A Case for Communication and Connection

Meeting new people can introduce us to experiences and stories that inspire us to learn, grow, and break through boundaries. BearFotos/Shutterstock

Inspiration is all around us. It could be found in acts of generosity from a complete stranger or in a witty conversation from a barista hell-bent on making you laugh about your choice of sandwich filling and whether you are partial to a smear of mustard or not.

Inspiration could also be found in the potted life history of an elderly traveler sitting next to you on the train, or a surprisingly positive interaction with a person you would probably cross the road to avoid but with whom you are thrown together on a long-haul journey with no means of escape.

Each day offers a plethora of rich and varied opportunities for us to learn from—behaviors we can emulate to pass on the laughs, the wisdom, or generally put a spring in someone else’s step.

I have experienced all of these chance meetings at one time or another, but one recent experience sticks out in my mind and, frankly, left me feeling quite emotional.

The Train Journey

Out of habit, and because of strict parenting on being overtly polite to elders, I recently asked an elderly lady if I might sit next to her. Her reply was robust, her voice bold. She surprised me with her forthrightness. Of course, I could sit there; it was a free seat! (How silly of me!)

Seemingly horrified by the number of youths surrounding us, she started asking me what all the “young people” on the train were doing. Were they students? What were they doing on a train at 2 p.m., and why were they not in a library studying? There was a good possibility, of course, that none of those people were actually students, but I decided not to mention that (we British hate confrontations).

I did, however, attempt to explain the concept of pre-recorded lectures and virtual learning. She was clearly unimpressed, stating she would not want to pay thousands to learn like that. Fair point.

After an initial “You’re a young person, aren’t you?” (I was taken aback, but in a good way), I explained to my fellow passenger that I was a teacher and no, sadly, I wasn’t as youthful as she imagined! With a certain amount of pride, she stated that she was 81 years of age. In all honesty, she could have been 65. Her complexion was vibrant, and her eyes sparkled with a wicked humor and intelligence. Her energy was infectious. In a way, she reminded me of the very wonderful and much admired Jane Goodall, a woman whose energy and wisdom defy age.

Grab Every Opportunity

My travel companion started to recall her life experiences as a geography teacher and the meager career choices women had in her youth. She explained how teaching gave her opportunities in life and equality in pay to men, something that was rare. She had seized the chance to work in a field that allowed her relative freedom in an epoch during which there was comparatively little.

She enthusiastically talked of hitchhiking her way around Europe (I’m imagining in the 1960s—oh to see what she must have seen!) and how her friend, a fellow teacher, on falling in love with a German man, had left a note in their room to say she was running off to Crete to spend the summer with him. I was hooked! Her life story was better than any novel. She (and clearly her friend with her German lover) had embraced life to the full and experienced so much more than some people, even today, may not dare to experience.

She showed no hint of regret or having had any fears or trepidations. Her positive energy was truly infectious, and her recollections were undoubtedly plentiful enough to fill the most enthralling of biographies. The best part, however, was that she planned to continue. She still had places to go and sights she wanted to see. Her traveling days were not simply fond memories but a work in progress.

Before stepping down from the train, she looked me straight in the eyes and simply said, “Enjoy your life.” I’m not going to lie; I choked up. It was said with such deep conviction, with such encouragement to go forward in life and grab each moment. Coming from a stranger who had no personal investment in me, it really struck a chord.

Lessons Learned

From a woman who had lived so much life and was clearly going to try to enjoy the heck out of what she had left on this earth, I felt both humbled and profoundly compelled to learn from what she said. It was an honor to have met someone so special and inspiring on what could have been a mundane train ride, wrapped up in my own contemplations.

It’s also all too common to see each person on a train or bus staring out of the window, avoiding eye contact with those around, or glued to their cellphones, living in their own little bubbles. If we isolate ourselves from those around us, not by distance but by a lack of communication, we are potentially missing the chance to experience incredible opportunities for growth, learning, and stories of inspiration that push us to break through boundaries.

So often we live in the past or are trapped by thoughts of “What if ... ?”—so much so that we sometimes don’t enjoy the now as much as we could. We put off booking tickets or taking a friend up on an invitation to go somewhere new or experience something unfamiliar. We all too often allow ourselves to climb on the “hamster wheel” of life and then just keep running in circles. Just maybe, on occasion, we need to jump, tuck, and roll our way to freedom.

Next time you find yourself on public transportation or in a café wondering where to park yourself, be bold and fight against your instinct to stay in your comfort zone. Start up a conversation with a stranger. Maybe a simple “May I sit here?” will lead you to hear a story that could just change your life.