Resentment-Free Holidays: Embracing Love, Forgiveness, and Connection

It only takes one person to begin repairing relationships. Impact Photography/Shutterstock

The past few years have taken a toll on many family relationships, creating chasms of division fueled by political disagreements, differing values, and the isolating effects of prolonged lockdowns. A media landscape that thrives on fear and provocation has fanned the flames, furthering an atmosphere of resentment and contention among society at large and, sadly, within individual families.

If your family relationships have suffered in these challenging times, let the spirit of this holiday season inspire you to reconnect and say that enough is enough.

While you can’t control what your loved ones do, you can choose for yourself to make a change and act as a positive influence. Here are a few ideas to guide you on this journey toward a more harmonious holiday experience with your loved ones.

Identify Resentment

Arguing and disdain for others has become so commonplace that it may not be obvious the extent to which you’ve harbored resentment in your heart. It’s essential to reflect on the specific resentments you may be harboring.

Take a moment to consider how you feel about your loved ones and what notions you may have developed about them. Are there lingering grievances that affect your thoughts and actions? Acknowledging these feelings is the first step toward letting them go.

Recognize the Toll

Understand how resentment affects not only your heart but also your relationships. Holding on to negative feelings can lead to anxiety and stress, polluting the joy of the season. Recognizing the burden of resentment can motivate you to foster a more positive outlook and create healthier interactions.

Revisit Priorities and Replace Resentment

There was a time in most personal relationships when people could disagree and still love and respect one another. Aim to return to a more tolerant and forgiving approach and make a loving and supportive family unit the top priority.

Feeling resentful or judging your loved ones may have become an unconscious habit. You can intentionally replace such thoughts with more positive options.

Make a conscious effort to cultivate compassion. Attempt to see things from your loved ones’ perspectives. This shift in mindset can illuminate the humanity in your relationships and foster understanding—an essential element in rebuilding trust and connection.

Set down your expectations of your loved ones and simply appreciate them for who they are. Look only at the good in your loved ones and watch your feelings of resentment dissipate.

Reach Out

With a renewed mindset, begin to reach out to your loved ones with an open heart and mind. Catch up with their lives, apologize for not reaching out sooner, and plan to get together in person during the holiday season.

Recognize that your loved ones may also have resentment in their hearts. Resist the urge to further feed that tendency and instead remain calm, humble, and understanding in your approach.

By stepping into this holiday season with an open heart and a commitment to family connection, your journey toward a resentment-free holiday can begin with you. You’ll transform not only your current relationships, but also those of your family’s future generations. It’s time to choose love over resentment, and repair bonds that uplift and inspire for years to come.