Good mothers encourage their children, guide them when they face trials, and when necessary, gently push them to strive for excellence. Even after the kids enter college or join the workforce, Mom is just a phone call away, ready to offer advice or a shoulder to cry on. “Life doesn’t come with a manual,” the old saying goes. “It comes with a mother.”
Which brings us to Mary Pinkney MacArthur.
Mary Pinkney (1852–1935), “Pinky” to her friends, was a Southerner, a daughter of North Carolina and Virginia, who was proud of her older brothers for having fought for the Confederacy. Yet in 1875, Pinky demonstrated the indomitable willpower that would mark her life by marrying Arthur MacArthur, a Union war hero instrumental in the defeat of Confederate forces at the Battle of Missionary Ridge. Though her family opposed her wedding to a Yankee—two of her brothers refused to attend the ceremony—Pinky remained a devoted and loving wife until Arthur’s death in 1912.
Instilling Patriotism
She showed that same devotion to her three sons, Arthur III, Malcom, and Douglas. After Malcom’s death at age 4 from measles—Arthur later attended the Naval Academy and died from appendicitis in 1923—Pinky centered her care and affection on Douglas. Throughout his childhood, she frequently reminded him at bedtime of his destiny: “You must grow up to be a great man—like your father and Robert E. Lee.”
During that same time, as the family traveled from one military post to another, Pinky inculcated in both her boys heroic ideals taken from the past. Of their early education, biographer William Manchester wrote, “Her sons never lacked books about martial heroes. In her lap they learned the virtue of physical courage and the disgrace of cowardice.”
Many years later, Douglas reminisced on those days of learning at his mother’s knee:
“My mother, with some help from my father, began the education of her two boys. Our teaching included not only the simple rudiments, but above all else a sense of obligation. We were to do what was right no matter what the personal sacrifice might be. Our country was always to come first.”
Once Arthur had left home to attend the Naval Academy, Pinky turned her full attention to the education of Douglas. For his high school education, she and her husband enrolled him in West Texas Military Academy. Thanks in part to his mother’s constant encouragement, Douglas became an outstanding student and athlete, valedictorian of his class, and a star in football and baseball.
After his graduation, and with the family living in Milwaukee, Pinky hired tutors to prepare her son for the entrance examinations to West Point. When the time came to take the test, Douglas was exhausted and nauseated from lack of sleep and apprehension. Just before the exam, Pinky pulled him aside and told him to do his best, that he could do no more. Steadied by his mother’s words, he scored higher than the best of the other applicants and, in 1899, was off to the academy.
And so was his mother.
With her husband stationed in the Philippines to quell an insurrection, Pinky took up quarters in the West Point Hotel, right next door to West Point, where she would remain intimately involved in her son’s life, offering him constant advice and encouragement.
A Test of Character
At one point in his first year, members of a Congressional investigation into hazing at West Point ordered MacArthur to name the cadets who had brutally bullied and mistreated him. He considered the order dishonorable, but refusal to comply might well lead to his dismissal.
Before entering the courtroom, as on the day of his entrance exams, he again became sick with anxiety. Just before he appeared as a witness, he read a poem sent to him by his mother. The last four lines in particular stiffened his backbone and gave him the courage to stand by his principles:
“Be this your task, if task it shall be To force this proud world to do homage to me, Be sure it will say, when its verdict you’ve won She reaps as she sowed: ‘This man is her son!’”
Once again, MacArthur was valedictorian of his class and was also first captain of the Corps of Cadets. Only two other cadets, including his mother’s revered Robert E. Lee, had left the academy with a higher record of achievement.
Over the next 50 years, MacArthur fulfilled the promise he had shown as a cadet. He served with distinction in the Philippines and in World War I, and he was awarded with the Medal of Honor for his defense of the Philippines during World War II. He and his father were the first father-son team to earn such an honor. MacArthur commanded the American ground forces in the Pacific, oversaw the conversion of Imperial Japan into a democracy, and headed up United Nations forces during the Korean War. Only then, when he and President Harry S. Truman clashed over policies and Truman relieved MacArthur of his command, did his long service to his country come to an end.
Throughout this stellar career, until her death, Pinky was in his corner, traveling with him when circumstances permitted, offering him counsel, and singing his praises to all who would listen, including his superior officers.
Some children might have rebelled against the prodding and affections of such an involved mother, but MacArthur was not one of them. In “Fire and Fortitude: The US Army in the Pacific War, 1941–1943,” John McManus reports that Dwight Eisenhower, an aide to MacArthur at the time, later recollected MacArthur’s grief at his mother’s death, which “affected the General’s spirit for many months.”
Should we look at Pinky MacArthur as too pushy, too caught up in her son’s life and achievements? Perhaps. But in “Douglas MacArthur: American Warrior,” Arthur Herman writes, “Until her death in 1935, she would be the single most important woman—indeed the single most important person—in his life.”
Here is a garland of praise for his mother of which MacArthur surely would have approved.
This article was originally published in American Essence magazine.
