A pro-life couple from Missouri has thrown resilience, faith, and gratitude straight into the face of fear after learning their eighth child was diagnosed with Down syndrome.
For parents Cathy and Andrew Daub, getting pregnant with their eighth baby came as a complete surprise as they already had their hands full with six boys and one girl. Additionally, Cathy had a number of health issues, including post-partum psoriatic arthritis, which flares up whenever she delivers a baby. Moreover, after eight miscarriages, the couple knew that “carrying a baby to term was a long shot.”
After giving birth last to a daughter, the couple had decided upon early-term blood-and-genetic testing. The whole family was in their van driving through a Christmas light display in 2019 when Cathy’s phone rang with the results. The stay-at-home mom recalls suspecting something was amiss when the doctor said he wanted to talk to them alone.
“I knew whatever he had to say would be hard to hear,” Cathy said. “Our amazing pro-life doctor, who has walked most of our childbearing journey with us, asked again if he could call back when we were home, but I said no. And he knows me well enough to know that persistence is one of my fatal flaws, and the unknown, one of my greatest fears, so he told me.”
The doctor informed Cathy that the couple was going to have a boy and there was a 99 percent chance he would be born with Trisomy 21.
At that moment, Cathy, who was in shock, took a deep breath and fought back tears. She had before her a van full of expectant faces, waiting to hear whether they would be welcoming a boy or a girl.
“I looked back at the car; several young faces looked out at me,“ Cathy said. ”But I couldn’t tell them because I knew I’d burst into tears, and I wasn’t about to let my fear of the unknown dictate a reaction to the blessing we were about to have.”
When they got home, Cathy let her tears fall as she dealt with many unknowns.
However, she said: “I was ok with this news. I really was. We already had a niece and a good friend with Down syndrome, and my husband had had a little brother with Down syndrome, so I knew the secret.”
Cathy knew there was great joy to come, and she started out on that journey by celebrating with a gender reveal for the family—blue balloons floating out of an early Christmas present and the family was elated with the news.
By then, she had also done her research online and found a deluge of negative information on Down syndrome, the kind that only breeds fear. According to the internet, the child might not make it out of her womb alive and Cathy’s likelihood of miscarriage would remain at 30 percent to term. General descriptors of people with Down syndrome were mostly negative, betraying a child’s actual beauty and distinction. Cathy was worried about the conditions her son might have and fretted about how she would keep up with treatment.
To add more to the existing situation, Cathy’s pregnancy was riddled with difficulty. In March 2020, she was required to undergo emergency surgery for an intestinal entanglement. She went into the operating room “just terrified“ for their baby ”because the surgery was going to happen right where he was peacefully sleeping.“ The couple also went ahead and named their baby at that time, deciding on ”William Declan,” as Cathy wanted him to be baptized should he need to be born early.
“I woke up to the amazing sound of a tiny heartbeat still going strong,“ Cathy said. ”It was then that we knew we had a fighter on our hands.”
Later, in June 2020, Cathy started to hemorrhage; they returned to St. Louis hospital and remained there for a delivery that was nothing short of challenging. The umbilical cord, wrapped around the baby’s neck, caused his heart rate to plummet with every contraction. Whispers in the delivery room set Cathy’s heart to fright. However, on June 12, little Will was welcomed into the world.
“They cut the cord before he was fully born and they laid him on my chest,“ Cathy said. ”Nine months of anxiety and fear all just disappeared and I cried like a baby. He was perfect. Simply perfect. So tiny. So fragile.”
Challenges and Family Resilience
Ever since his birth, little “Iron Will” has heartily lived up to his nickname. His battles have been many and have not yet ended, but he fights on with joyful determination.The greatest challenges for Will and his parents have been medical. His diagnosis with Down syndrome was officially confirmed with a blood test when he was 6 months old, although his parents had detected it right away. During the same period of time, Will also started having infantile spasms that went undiagnosed for 2 months. The Daubs fought for someone to listen to them and finally found a genetics doctor to perform an EEG.
“That was about the scariest part of this journey so far,“ Cathy said. ”He ended up in the hospital for a week on a feeding tube because the steroids that cured the spasms rocked his world.”
For two weeks, Will cried and threw up 30–40 times each day. “The spasms set him back a bit but he’s fighting hard to catch up and we know he will in his time,” Cathy said.
In August 2021, Will had heart surgery for a hole in his heart. The little boy has also suffered from breathing issues, though they have improved over time. Will still navigates life with some hearing loss and undergoes varied therapies, including occupational, physical, feeding, and hearing therapy.
However, these challenges have been met with joyful determination, and neither Will nor the family is giving up.
“Therapy isn’t hard, but it’s time-consuming. But just like with my other kids, I’d do anything to set Will up for success, so we make it work,“ Cathy said. “He’s had this never-give-up attitude ever since he was a newborn, and it challenges me to try harder and do better.”
Where others might coddle, Will’s family recognizes both his differences and his incredible capabilities. They all share in teaching him new things.
“My husband is a former Army officer and we raise all of our kids to persevere and be resilient,” Cathy said. “I think that’s why he noticed right away that Will is a fighter. He believes very strongly that our kids can do absolutely anything they set their minds to and Will is no different. He sets the standard for how our other kids interact with Will as well.”
Built by resilience and love, the bond between Will and his family is also strong. He anticipates his father’s voice and is eager to rough house and wrestle. For his mother, his laugh is thoroughly cheering and his smile is catching. His eyes light up when he sees his 6-year-old sister and shows his affection for her in manners that are true to form for a younger brother: snuggling, knocking down blocks, dancing, and pulling her hair; and his brothers scramble at the opportunity to hold him.
Gratitude and Faith
Along with resilience, the strength of the Daub family is based upon gratitude and faith. When Cathy was lonely and afraid in the hospital, her close friends lifted her by challenging her to name three things she was thankful for each day and she has done it every day since March 2020.“It’s changed my life,“ Cathy said. ”It’s made me realize that joy and happiness are not the same. You can find joy in hard stuff, even in sadness. My gratitude and the knowledge that I have my faith and my family get me through so much.”
Cathy also credits faith as her source of strength to overcome the challenges she faces in raising Will.
Pro-Life Advocacy
Ever since Will’s birth, Cathy recognized the rare blessing he is to her family. Doctors told her they just didn’t see many babies with Down Syndrome anymore, and it was at that moment that she vowed to advocate on Will’s behalf.“I’d spend my entire life shouting his worth and sharing the miracle of his life with the world,” she said.
Both of Will’s parents have always done some pro-life outreach in their life, but Cathy said that advocating for Will has been her “biggest achievement” in activism.
“With over 66 percent of children who are found to have Down syndrome in utero here in the U.S.—and a higher percentage in other countries—being aborted, it’s clear that the truth about Down Syndrome is not getting out there,” she said.
Cathy wants people to know that Down Syndrome is not something to be afraid of. While the diagnosis can be overwhelming for parents, she attributes it to the conditioning of society.
Sharing Will’s story, she believes, will have an impact on society.