For many parents, having their child take music lessons sounds like a nice idea—until it’s time to get said child to sit down and practice. Suddenly, that nice idea turns into something more like the final round of a wrestling match, with Dad or Mom the exhausted victor and little Johnny the sullen child on the music stool.
Fortunately, that’s not the case for Marc and Amber de la Motte. If it was, they’d have to endure multiple wrestling matches every day with their 10 children, 9 of whom are burgeoning classical musicians attending such prestigious institutions as The Juilliard School and The Manhattan School of Music.
“There’s no way I could have enough willpower to keep 10 kids on track in music!” Amber exclaimed, noting that classical music is her kids’ passion and something they want to pursue, rather than her pushing them to do it. Her children are so passionate about their music that they weathered a cross-country move from San Francisco to New York to receive better training. Today, music fills the top three floors of the six-bedroom brownstone rowhouse they rent in Harlem.
A Family Affair
But music wasn’t always on the agenda for the de la Mottes, nor was a family of 10 children, for that matter. “Families are made one child at a time,” Marc said, assuring people that they weren’t shooting for a certain number when the couple got married over 20 years ago. Amber’s background as an only child did make her interested in a large family, though, and a missed childhood opportunity to take music lessons caused her to enroll in a music class as an adult, setting off a chain reaction among her children. Marc and Amber’s oldest child, Josiah, then a toddler, was captivated by Amber’s violin practice and wanted to try. They enrolled him in a Suzuki strings program, and one by one, the other children followed suit.Today, their family orchestra consists of violinists Josiah, 21, Naomi, 14, Chloé, 9, Enoch, 7, and Melody, 4; violist Pearl, 19; cellists Elijah, 17, and Anna, 11; and bassist Noah, 13. (Two-year-old Moses is due to start the cello soon.) The children regularly play their instruments together both at home and on the streets of New York, putting a hat out for “busking” tips, which they use to pay for their instruments and lessons.
Such collaboration would likely be impossible if the de la Motte kids were the normal bunch of squabbling siblings one sees in many families. But these siblings actually enjoy each other, often banding together to lift up a discouraged musician in their ranks. “There’s a real sense of community in a large family,” Marc said. “There’s the achievement of the older children that sets an example and gives guidance to the younger children.”
“It’s almost like being on a running team,” where you cheer for your fellow teammates as you pass off the baton, Amber added. Although her children also play other types of music, she believes there’s something special about the classical music world that fosters a “kinder” environment and “a culture of respect” that spills over into other areas of your life “if you let it.”
The family also credits homeschooling for the kindness that exists among the siblings, noting that this schooling choice enables them to devote their mornings to music practice, while their afternoons are spent with textbooks and other schoolwork. “What’s amazing to me is how the kids are able to fit [within] three hours what kids in public school fit in a five-to-six-hour day,” Amber said, recounting her own experience with a lot of downtime in public school. “I’d have a literature class in high school. We never talked about the book!” she said. By homeschooling their children, Marc and Amber “make sure their time counts.”
Trust and Gratitude
As a large family living in an expensive city and pursuing the costly world of music lessons and instruments, one of the questions often aimed at the de la Mottes is how they afford everything. “We try to be as frugal as possible,” Amber admitted. “We’ve definitely had some nail-biter moments.”Moving to New York was one of those, particularly regarding housing. They were thankful to find a landlord willing to accommodate their large household, but the family was forced to use their savings from the sale of their California home after an offer to film a show for a streaming service fell through. Amber had been dabbling in social media, however, so they decided to start their own show, giving photo and video glimpses into their unique family and their music via Instagram, YouTube, and TikTok.
And those ventures are starting to pay off. As Christians, Amber compares their situation to God feeding the Israelites with manna in the wilderness. When they finally entered the promised land, the manna stopped. In the same way, the de la Mottes are seeing God provide as they have need.
“I’ve always been the one that’s been skeptical and trying to think of all the things that could go wrong,” Marc said, “so I’m grateful for Amber, she’s set a vision I’ve been able to support.”
That vision is about to send the family into the recording studio to cut some audio of Naomi’s musical arrangements. Although the family shares their home and street performances online, recording as they do on their phones just doesn’t do the music justice, and they want others to enjoy their children’s music like they do. “I hear them playing, it just makes my hair stand up on my arms,” Marc said. “In a good way!” Amber laughingly chimed in.
Amber realizes that her children may not pursue music forever, but she’s thankful for the experiences their music has given them so far—both the good and the bad. “Music can be pretty brutal,” she said, complete with multiple failures. But trying and failing “gives you kind of a backbone for life.”
