When 19-year-old Jessica Manfre of Bradenton, Florida, looked at her handsome date and said, “Oh, you’re in the Coast Guard? What’s that?” she had no way of knowing this fateful meeting would take her all across the United States, plunge her into profound loneliness, challenge her to do things she never thought possible, and give her a mission for radical kindness.
Since marrying her Coast Guard husband Scott, she has moved nine times in the last 15 years. After struggling with severe loneliness and depression, Manfre realized that there is a great need within military communities for support.
As she discovered new depths of inner strength and resilience, Manfre became a licensed social worker; founded Inspire Up Foundation, a nonprofit which serves military and first responder families; and wrote a new book, “Never Alone” (March 2023), dealing with the problem of loneliness in military communities. “I know I can walk alongside them,” said Manfre. “I can empathize deeply.”
Manfre imagined that becoming a military spouse would be a grand adventure. While this has been true, she struggled with being away from her husband for long periods of time. Depression marked her first two years as a Coast Guard wife. But then she realized she had an opportunity to grow and discover herself. “It made me stronger. I started to do things I never thought I could do,” she said. She worked at Bank of America, became friends with coworkers, attended night school, and earned her associate’s degree in social work. Her perception of family and friends began to change, and she became intentional about fostering community.
Manfre realized that she could use her own pain to help others. “I can help women who have gone through the same thing. That’s my redemption: my pain was meant for something else.”
Manfre’s first major campaign was in 2019 within the Coast Guard community of Cape May, New Jersey. A government shutdown meant that Coast Guard members would receive no pay indefinitely. She couldn’t offer to pay people’s bills, but she reasoned, “I could try to gather support to feed people.” By reaching out on the Cape May community Facebook page, she raised over $100,000 in donations, which ultimately served the Atlantic City and Philadelphia Coast Guard stations as well. “The next thing we knew, we were getting massive amounts of food dropped off at the gates.” The most important lesson to arise from this? “We don’t have to stand idle, she said. “Most people want to look out for each other.”
In February 2020, she founded Inspire Up, a nonprofit that supports military and first responder families across the United States by providing educational programs and information sessions. “Our goal is to stand in the gap,” Manfre explained. “We want to empower people.”
In her book “Never Alone,” and in her life, Manfre reminds people that their worst days do not define them. “When we start by loving each other, being radically kind, it is transformative,” she said.
This article was originally published in American Essence magazine.
