Whether it’s a high school reunion, a networking event, or a family wedding, mingling with others we don’t know well is an art. To put both yourself and others at ease, Michigan-based etiquette instructor Bethany Friske advises us to practice kindness in the following ways.
Pre-event Prep
To avoid awkward silences, research some current national or local events beforehand to bring into your conversations. Friske also suggests having several get-to-know-you questions in your back pocket. Doing so helps you “focus on the other person and less on yourself.”Tennis Talk
When mingling, view conversations as a tennis match. “You don’t want to hog the ball,” but you also don’t want to “give a one-word response,” Friske says. Carrying your conversation weight and asking follow-up questions will put your conversation partner at ease.Tactful Topics
Gracious conversation keeps some topics off-limits, including health issues and food. Unless others ask specifically, don’t talk about your diet or how much something costs, as this can make others feel guilty. Do, however, inform the hostess about dietary restrictions.Your Belly or Your Manners
Friske suggests eating a bit before attending a mingling event. Doing so enables you to “take small bites,” thus avoiding awkward and embarrassing moments for both you and your conversation partners.Eyes and Ears Wide Open
A hallmark of an expert conversationalist is good listening. But Friske advises keeping eyes open as well as ears, especially when considering joining a conversation in progress. Look for body language that signals a private conversation, and avoid barging in.Consider the Host
A good guest makes sure to connect with the host sometime during the event. “Verbally signing in, signing out” will make you stand out, Friske says, while also helping the host remember your appreciation after the whirl of the event.This article was originally published in American Essence magazine.
