Have you ever walked away from meeting someone for the first time feeling refreshed and invigorated? If so, you know the power of a good first impression.
“We have only a few seconds to make a first impression,” said etiquette instructor Bethany Friske. How you use those moments will determine whether that impression is positive or negative. Friske shared her expert tips for adding that extra sparkle to your interactions, making you the most positively memorable person in the room.
Remember, ‘Clothes Make the Man’
Friske recalled immediately wanting to become friends with a woman she saw across a room of 400 people. She cited the woman’s modest and polished attire—as well as the joyful expression on her face—as the reason. Wearing well-pressed, clean, and appropriate attire (e.g., no jeans at funerals or weddings) can give us similar appeal.Watch the Clock
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“On time is already late,” it’s often said. That’s true for events such as conferences, performances, or church services, but it’s a different matter if it’s a private dinner party, according to Friske. “If you arrive 15 minutes early, sit in the car until it’s time.” Why? “Because the host can get a lot done in five minutes without somebody being there.” Considering his or her needs will go far in creating a great first impression.
Beware the Blind Spots
We all want to make a good impression, but everyone has blind spots. Friske listed chewing gum, touching your hair and face, picking your teeth, and cracking your fingers as several common habits we unconsciously do that turn others off. She also cautions people to avoid cursing and bad grammar, especially the constant use of the word “like.” Watching for and avoiding these habits helps present a polished persona.Stay Present and Proactive
Those who stay engaged in conversation are most likely to be memorable. “Slip your name in as soon as possible,” Friske said, even if you’ve met someone before, and “give a little key to help them remember your name,” such as a rhyme or word association. When it comes to your phone, make sure it’s not your crutch in the corner. If you must take a call, excuse yourself and exit the room to talk.Be a Courteous Conversationalist
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Attending a gathering can feel like a minefield if you’re an introvert. “Don’t overwhelm yourself with meeting everybody,” Friske advised. “Stick it to a number.” That gives you a goal of how many people to meet. On the flip side, she cautions extroverts to avoid dominating a conversation, and loud, boisterous talking. Stand-out conversationalists are those who ask good questions, take time to listen and follow up, and offer more than monosyllabic responses.
This article was originally published in American Essence magazine.
