How to Holiday Yourself Younger

Wellness tourism puts the focus on health and self-renewal—and business is booming.oleksboiko/Shutterstock

There comes a time in every person’s life when they realise their youth is firmly behind them.

For me, it was when I had to Google “is it normal for knees to creak like haunted floorboards?” and discovered that, apparently, yes and also, no depending on whether I wanted to live in blissful ignorance or accept the inevitable march toward decrepitude.

But fear not, ageing is a choice now!

Yes, thanks to the booming wellness tourism industry, you can now pay an obscene amount of money to go on a very expensive holiday where the main attraction is not ageing.

Welcome to the era of anti-ageing resorts where a week in a cryogenic ice bath costs more than your first car, and your dinner comes with a side of genome sequencing.

Bluceira

First up, let’s talk about Bluceira, a newish company that have retreats in the Blue Zones, including in Portugal’s Ericeira.

There, the founders, Amélie Roujou de Boubée and Antonie Debuse (names so chic I aged three years just trying to pronounce them), have created a luxury wellness experience that promises to “change our perspective on ageing” and “help us live longer, healthier lives.”

In theory, this sounds lovely.

In practice, I imagine it involves a lot of smiling wellness professionals explaining to a room full of confused silver foxes that the key to a long and healthy life is not consuming an entire block of mature cheddar in one sitting (which, frankly, I refuse to accept).

The programme is based on three core principles:

Being Active—Professional coaches encourage gentle mobility exercises, because apparently “stiff as a board” is only a fun game for children, not a long-term lifestyle plan.

Eating Well—Private chefs prepare meals using fresh, locally sourced ingredients, meaning you’ll get to enjoy perhaps just one exquisitely plated radish while contemplating your own impermanence.

Meaningful Social Interactions—Daily workshops and community events designed to keep the mind sharp, ensuring that by the time you leave, you’ll have made at least one new friend who will absolutely judge you for eating that entire radish in one bite.

The Estate Hotels and Residences: Because Tony Robbins Says So

If you prefer your longevity served with a side of corporate buzzwords, look no further than The Estate Hotels & Residences, a new venture by Tony Robbins, motivational speaker, wellness mogul, and, I assume, the only man alive who could talk a billionaire into purchasing a Himalayan salt lamp made of solid gold.

His luxury longevity hotels are set to open worldwide, with locations in the UK, Italy, Switzerland, and St Kitts because, naturally, the secret to a long and fulfilling life is being rich enough to afford a holiday in Switzerland.

Here, guests will have access to:

• AI-driven health insights, because if you thought your Apple Watch was judgmental, wait until an entire supercomputer weighs in on your alcohol consumption.
• Full-body MRI scans, to confirm that yes, you do, in fact, have the organs of a person who lived through the 90s diet culture.
• Preventative medicine centres, where top specialists will assess whether your aura needs recalibrating or if you simply need a lie down and a cup of tea.

With plans for 25 locations and 15 ultra-luxury hotels, it’s clear that The Estate isn’t just offering a new way to holiday it’s offering a future where your annual wellness check-up costs the same as a second-hand yacht.

Other Anti-Ageing Havens for the Deeply Committed (And the Financially Reckless)

1. Estelle Manor, Oxfordshire, UK—Roman Baths and Ice Bucket Trauma

A cavernous 3,000-square-metre wellness complex where you can dunk yourself in ice water under the guidance of a breathwork expert and emerge slightly hypothermic but spiritually enlightened.

2. Rosewood Schloss Fuschl, Austria—Dynamic Ageing in a Castle

Spend a few days in an actual Austrian castle where you’ll be whisked, drained, injected, and biohacked, all while taking part in moonlight meditation sessions that may or may not be a secret vampire ritual.

3. Kamalaya, Koh Samui—Detoxing and Deep Regrets

A medical-style retreat on a Thai island where you’ll experience IV therapy, hyperbaric oxygen therapy, and enzyme testing, followed by the sudden realisation that maybe, just maybe, you should have just gone to the Maldives instead.

4. Arctic Bath, Sweden—Ice Baths Build Character

A floating hotel in Swedish Lapland that promises the benefits of cold-water immersion, presumably for people who find having feeling in their extremities deeply overrated.

5. Clinique La Prairie, Switzerland—The OG of Age Reversal

Founded in 1931, this legendary Swiss clinic has been pioneering anti-ageing treatments since the days when people thought cigarettes were good for you. Now offering Brain Enhancement Programmes, because apparently “simply getting more sleep” is far too basic.

Should You Book One of These?

If you have a small fortune lying around and an existential crisis brewing, then yes, why not holiday yourself younger?

For the rest of us, the best anti-ageing strategy remains:

• Drink water (preferably not infused with kale).
• Move around a bit (chasing your dog down the street counts).
• Surround yourself with people who make you laugh (or at least people who don’t shame you for eating an entire wheel of brie).

But hey, if all else fails, there’s always Bluceira and meditation-infused carrot sticks.

Bon voyage, and may your laugh lines be mistaken for wisdom.