But what about meals taken with those outside the family circle? Can they also enhance our relationships?
Of course.
Take work, for example. Whether it’s the manager of a small firm treating his associates to lunch every couple of months or the staff gathering for a light supper of wine and hors d’oeuvres after hours, these events often bond all to a common cause—their work—and to one another. They exchange ideas and discuss workplace innovations, yes, but they also become better acquainted with one another. Such meals make for team-building at its best.
In a medium-sized company I once worked for part-time, I happened to be on the premises when my supervisor invited me to a lunch provided by management. The fare wasn’t fancy—fast food fried chicken with the fixings—and their jobs didn’t permit everyone to gather at the same time, but that smorgasbord brought them out of their cubicles and together at a table. Here, they discussed everything from their latest problems with a customer by phone to the arrival of a warehouse worker’s new baby.
This same partnership of food and comradery occurs outside the workplace. Churchgoers, for instance, have a long history of combining homemade dishes with fellowship. “Dinner on the grounds,” which entails a potluck after the last worship service of the day, is a long-standing Southern tradition. Catholic churches and others often offer weekly “coffee and doughnuts” following Mass, allowing parishioners to become better acquainted while the kids sink their teeth into a cruller or a cinnamon twist.
In this same spirit, we invite friends to supper or a barbecue. Some cooks suffer an attack of nerves preparing for such a party, but they miss the point. The evening is less about the food and much more about getting together and having some fun. A charcuterie board of cheese, crackers, nuts, and fruit can just as easily serve as the centerpiece for laughter and great conversation as some stressful attempt at haute cuisine.
Many of our holidays are also decked out with special dishes. Recently, many Americans celebrated St. Patrick’s Day with corned beef and cabbage, washed down with a glass or two of stout. But it’s not the food they’ll remember. They’ll remember the songs, jokes, and smiles of friends.
In a sense, whatever our belief in a higher power, the meals we share with others—the family dinners, the pizza at work, the quiche and salad made by a friend—are holy. At their best, these occasions shine with beauty and goodness. As the renowned food writer M.F.K. Fisher once put it, “There is a communion of more than our bodies when bread is broken and wine drunk.”
Bon appétit!
