Dear Monty: We are planning on selling our home soon. My wife’s sister has a son that is a real estate agent. We do not want to use him, but we know that it may sour our relationship with her sister if we do not. We are wondering if you may have some suggestions.
Monty’s Answer: Having a relative or a close friend that has a sibling as a real estate agent has been a conundrum for decades. One of the considerations in not using him is why you do not like him.
Suppose you know something about him that his mother does not know. You do not want to lie to her, and you don’t want to give her the reason. The potential causes are countless.
There are many options to consider. When I was a real estate agent in the field and managing agents, the reasons below are the reasons we sometimes didn’t get the business. Your circumstances may preclude using some of them. Still, you may find one or two scenarios that you can create to circumvent or minimize any repercussions.
Options to Consider
No. 1: The “strictly business” option. Tell your sister-in-law upfront that you are planning on interviewing him but that you will also be getting several opinions from other agents. Explain that you are aware that not all real estate companies and agents work the same way. They have different marketing tactics and different types of training and supervision, and some have none. They all have different success rates in your neighborhood. Tell her that this will be a business decision and that you are looking out for your interests. He may get the business, but if he does, it will be on merit, not because he is her son.No. 2: The “no-family” approach. Lots of things can go wrong in real estate and other business dealings. We never use a friend or relative in business dealings so we can deal with it objectively if something goes wrong. If we suffered a financial loss and had to litigate to recover, we don’t want to be suing a friend or relative.
No. 3: A friend in the business. You may have a friend in the industry. You have been friends for years. This approach is precisely the opposite of the no-family approach, but it may be a great fit if you can find a real friend in the business.
No. 4: The business tie-in option. We have to use ABC realty because we found our new place through them and they are giving us a considerable fee reduction. They also have sold more homes in our neighborhood than any other company.
No. 5: The stealth sale approach. If you have not yet told her of your plan, don’t mention it. Sell the house, move into your new home, and casually say that you’re enjoying your new surroundings at the following family function. She may be shocked, but “it happened so fast, I forgot to mention it.”
No. 6: The last resort. Just hold your breath and use him. You may come up with a better solution. Some people may think that you are feigning what was an actual reason for someone else. The idea is to create the option you chose. For example, you may have a friend in the business.
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