Film Review: ‘Death on the Nile’: Director Kenneth Branagh Murders Christie. Again

Shot in 2019 and originally scheduled for a December 2020 release, director and leading man Kenneth Branagh’s “Death on the Nile” finally hits theaters with an underwhelming air of “who cares?” A bookend of sorts to Branagh’s 2017 “Murder on the Orient Express,” “Death” is also based on a novel by Agatha Christie, both of which are remakes (from 1974 and 1978 respectively).

The good news first. It’s better than “Murder”—by a hair. Branagh also brings back screenwriter Michael Green (“Logan,” “Blade Runner 2049”) who tosses in a black and white opening scene not found in the novel, and it provides an excellent back story to detective Hercules Poirot’s moustache. The calling card of every actor who has played Poirot over the years (24 of them), Branagh’s moustache is elaborate as they come and deserves its own zip code. Seriously, this oversized patch of facial hair borders on the absurd.

Kenneth Branagh directs and stars in "Death on the Nile." 20th Century Studios

A second new scene follows and is set in an upscale French watering hole where no one actually speaks the native tongue and features some heavy duty, gut-bucket blues music. The club is populated with wealthy socialites who bump and grind to such a degree, they make Patrick Swayze and Jennifer Grey from “Dirty Dancing” look like prim and proper ballroom dancers.

Dazzling Visuals

This eye-popping one-two punch beginning hints that the filmmakers might be looking to inject some spicy pizzazz into Christie’s relatively staid source material, but it is short-lived. The remainder of the film follows the book’s plot almost to the letter and takes on the air of a high-end, overlong episode of “Murder, She Wrote.”

This should be great news for established diehard Christie fans who already know which character does what, when, and why. Haris Zambarloukos’s lush, vibrant cinematography and unusual camera work offers excellent but only temporary subterfuge for a talented ensemble cast who all (save for Emma Mackey as Jacqueline and Gal Gadot as Linnet) either phone in their performances or go way over the top.

As with “Murder” (and most other Christie stories), practically every character with a major speaking part becomes a homicide suspect, which works fine in book form but in movies tends to feel extraneous and overstuffed. To the filmmakers’ credit, they wait almost an hour before the main crime takes place but then spend another hour going through the motions with a series of go-nowhere red herrings. If Poirot was as great a detective as he often states he is, he wouldn’t waste his time or ours by grilling those he knows couldn’t be the culprit.

A Doomed Love Triangle

In “Death,” the set-up is far superior to the ultimate reveal and is set in motion with a steamy love triangle involving childhood friends Jacqueline and Linnet and wild-card Simon (Armie Hammer). Linnet has scads of money and is aware everyone she knows wants some or all of it. She’s leery but not quite jaded and is open to helping Jacqueline’s fiancé Simon get on his feet which she does and more. In short order, Simon dumps Jacqueline and marries Linnet, who plans an extravagant steamboat honeymoon on the Nile with a dozen or so friends and one blood relative.

(L-R) Gal Gadot, Emma Mackey, and Armie Hammer in "Death on the Nile." 20th Century Studios

Jacqueline is not invited yet still manages to find a way to make it on to the boat, continuing her stalking of the love birds. In a perfect world, Linnet would order the boat to dock and have Jacqueline removed but that would result in half-of-a-movie. Instead, Linnet pleads for Poirot to arrest Jacqueline which he can’t do because she hasn’t broken the law, and he doesn’t have any jurisdiction to do so in Egypt.

No offence whatsoever intended to Christie or her legion of followers, but her stories haven’t aged well and tend to be repetitive and formulaic. In the early 20th century, this style worked like a charm, but not so much nearly 100 years later. Christie was excellent in dropping clues throughout all of her stories and had Branagh and Green tweaked and modernized the nuts and bolts of the story, maybe added some current day electronic devices, it might have delivered greater import and heft.

Timing Is Everything

Obviously not the original intent, “Death” was filmed before “Belfast,” Branagh’s multi-Oscar nominated, biographical near-masterpiece released last fall. Another victim of the COVID-19 schedule reshuffling, “Death” is essentially being dumped in the cinematic wasteland that is mid-winter and will likely die a quick theatrical death, but should enjoy something of a decent aftermarket, on-demand second life.

Armie Hammer and Gal Gadot in "Death on the Nile." 20th Century Studios

This movie is also dubiously notable as it is probably going to be the final major studio release featuring Hammer. Without going into lurid detail here (it can be revealed with a quick Internet search), Hammer’s alleged unsavory off-screen personal life behavior led to his dismissal from several future feature film and TV productions as well as having him being unceremoniously dropped by his industry representation. Multiple criminal charges and pending civil suits against him are also in a state of open-ended limbo.

At one point, 20th Century Studios contemplated reshooting all of the scenes including Hammer’s character with another actor but decided not to, probably because of cost overruns, time concerns, Branagh’s commitments, and the fact that Hammer appears in well over half of the finished film.

Having made two lackluster Christie adaptations up to this point and with the overwhelming positive “Belfast” winds at his back, Branagh should leave well enough alone and just move on. He’s entering the autumn of his creative years and still has many opportunities to further his already impressive legacy.

Foreground: Armie Hammer and Gal Gadot with cast of "Death on the Nile." 20th Century Studios

‘Death on the Nile’ Director: Kenneth Branagh Stars: Kenneth Branagh, Gal Gadot, Emma Mackey, Russell Brand, Tom Bateman Running Time: 2 hours, 7 minutes MPAA Rating: PG-13 Release Date: Feb. 11, 2022 Rating: 2 out of 5