Embracing the Sourness: ‘When Life Gives You Lemons’

There's always an opportunity to get something positive out of life's tough times. Biba Kayewich

“Life handed him a lemon,

As Life sometimes will do.

His friends looked on in pity,

Assuming he was through.

They came upon him later,

Reclining in the shade

In calm contentment, drinking

A glass of lemonade.”

(from The Rotarian, magazine of Rotary International, 1940)

Maybe you’re someone who likes to eat lemons straight-up, with nothing to temper their sourness. If so, kudos to you—you can take the bitterness of life just as it is. But most people prefer lemonade. Hence the popularity of today’s saying: “When life gives you lemons, make lemonade.”

In recent years, the topic of “grit” has become a big part of popular discussion, as there has been growing concern about the softening of Americans, in particular. (Case in point, if you search Amazon under “Books” for the word “grit,” you get more than 10,000 results.) Today’s proverb is an optimistic way to embrace the concept of grit, of sticking it out and sticking a nice fork in all those lemons to let that juice out. Note that there is undisputed evidence that lemons are good for you!

Dale Carnegie and a Little History

Dale Carnegie is best known for his landmark book “How to Win Friends and Influence People.” As a child, every time I heard the name of that book, I cringed, thinking that it was about possibly unethical means of making one’s way in the world. But, after becoming familiar with the book itself, I realized that Carnegie was a highly moral man who was writing, in large part, about the role of character in building strong relationships and navigating through interpersonal difficulties. His book is, in short, about personal development, one of the hardest and most important things to do in life.

Mr. Carnegie is, not surprisingly, the main person who popularized today’s saying. It appeared in his other excellent book, “How to Stop Worrying and Start Living,” and reads: “If You Have a Lemon, Make a Lemonade.”

The saying, in various forms, appeared in previous publications, such as the Rotary Magazine just cited, as well as in the 1916 “Auburn Seminary Record,” which said, “A pessimist [is] one who fletcherizes his bitter pill, the optimist is the man who made lemonade of the lemon handed him.” An earlier, 1909 version, in “Literary Digest” reads: “A genius is a man who takes the lemons that Fate hands him and starts a lemonade-stand with them.”

There's always an opportunity to get something positive out of life's tough times. Biba Kayewich

Some may recall the phrase making an appearance in a 2020 Super Bowl commercial for lemonade seltzer, where lemons began falling from the sky. The theme of the commercial was: 2020 was a “lemon of a year” due to the pandemic, so that’s why there is now a new lemonade seltzer available—“lemonade” that was made from all those lemons.

Here are a few great ways to take the lemons that life throws at you and make lemonade.

The Lemon of Health Woes

I have found with myself, and with family members, that having health issues arise is often a great way to take a step back and look at what needs to change in life. After all, a health challenge may be your body trying to tell you something. It could be, “Hey, slow down!” or “Hey, give me less caffeine so I can sleep!” or “Hey, take things a little less seriously so you’ll stress less,” or “Give yourself a little more time in nature or with family,” and so on.

And, in these cases, it’s a wonderful thing to realize that this lemon that life is dealing you can really help you make life a little more like lemonade—a little sweeter, a little better, and a lot more fun.

The Lemon of Financial Challenges

No one likes to be financially strained, but let’s face it, it happens to most of us at some point in life. While this one can be a bit harder to embrace, if financial challenges can help us develop our self-control in terms of budgeting and life choices, and if this can be something we therefore model for our kids, then the lemonade from this lemon could potentially flow for generations.

I find that, with my husband and myself, our money management habits came directly from our parents—from a lifetime of observing what they were modeling, and also internalizing how they treated us (whether they nurtured an indulgent mentality or not). For those looking to turn around a sinking ship along these lines, you might try reading Dave Ramsey’s books if you haven’t—he has helped a lot of people.

The Lemon of Toxic People

There may be times when you get home from work and it’s hard to get that tough encounter with your boss or coworker off your mind. The negativity could spill over into your family life. Well, these may be times to take a look and say, “Am I around enough positive people? Optimistic and supportive ones?” If not, then it might be time to seek out a positive support network—such as by joining a church group, a book group, a knitting circle, or a bowling club.

While we might not be able to change our jobs—though that can be something healthy to look at, too—we might be able to get some lemonade out of the situation.

A tough work environment or family environment could also be a nice reason to start a gratitude journal, to celebrate the good things and the blessings. While this may sound silly to some, the emotion of gratitude is proven to have positive effects on the body.

Remembering the phrase, “When life gives you lemons, make lemonade,” may perhaps sound cliché, but it can really help us get through tough times and come out on top. Dale Carnegie put it so well: “Develop success from failures. Discouragement and failure are two of the surest stepping stones to success.”

So enjoy that lemonade. It wouldn’t be the delightful drink that it is without the sourness at its foundation.