For many people, shopping is a pleasurable distraction from daily tribulations. The phrase “retail therapy” exists for a reason. Some folks forget all their woes as they search clothes racks for that perfect blouse or pair of slacks or swipe through page after page on their phones or computer.
I, on the other hand, have never fit into that category and describe myself as having “mall-a-phobia,” a word my sister and I coined years ago to describe our trepidation and ineptitude related to shopping in malls. I used to enter a mall and feel overwhelmed by the visual stimulation; my brain seemed to leave me at the door. The hum of seasonal Muzak, the multitude of shops, the shoppers finding their way with no apparent traffic pattern all contributed to my sense of being lost and muddled. Only if I needed “one thing” and could stay focused on that one thing would I have success.
However, after nearly seven decades on this planet, I have found a simple technique to make shopping decisions easy. I ask myself, “Do I like it?” Whether I am buying a dress, sports jacket for my husband, piece of art, or furniture—I just say, “Do I like it?”
Before adopting this easy technique, I used to stand and ponder, “I’m not sure if I really like it.”
Limbo. Frustration. Indecision. Not sure the dress would look good on me, not sure the painting would enhance the wall I envisioned it on or that a piece of furniture would give shape to a certain room—all this would produce a furrowed brow. I was in a pickle, so to speak. A quandary.
My husband and I recently shopped for a piece of art for our living room. He showed me a few paintings, and my response was not a resounding “No!” but “Well, maybe.” We knew the choice would only be right when we both agreed that each of us could easily say “I like it.” Interestingly we bought the selected painting and took it home. Even though it didn’t look great on the intended wall, we did find a perfect place for it and are happy with the purchase because we just liked it.
This method stems from acknowledging the innate, sometimes inexplicable feeling we have about why we like something. You don’t have to wonder whether you like a certain food or even a certain person. If someone asks you, for example, why you like an avocado, you usually follow up with more than one reason.
“I like the consistency,” and you might add, “And it’s so good nutritionally.” But these reasons don’t really matter—either you like it or you don’t. It’s not hard to make a food list of likes and dislikes.
Even when thinking of people we know, it’s sometimes beyond explanation as to why we like a particular person. Thoughts of that person create a collection of good vibes, of commonality, of appreciating their differences, and so on. And we certainly can love people through commitment whom we don’t like ... but let’s get back to shopping.
So, next time you find yourself in a shopping dilemma and you’re walking in the valley of indecision, just walk away from that purchase. Recognize the validity of that internal voice that keeps you from buying something you won’t enjoy later. If you don’t know whether you like it, then you don’t like it.
In a world that demands we make complicated decisions every day, I have found this one simple technique for making sound shopping decisions and actually feeling happy and confident in the experience.
