Confident in Color: A Luxury Wardrobe Stylist’s Tips for Embracing Vibrancy in Life and in Fashion

Stylist Lindsey Bernay walks down the streets of Manhattan with poise. Samira Bouaou for American Essence

“When Coco Chanel invented the little black dress, she told women it was OK to wear black as a fashion statement. She definitely was not envisioning today’s leggings,” said Lindsey Bernay. The New York-based luxury wardrobe stylist argues that we now use the color black “as a way to hide.” We don’t want to take the time to dress intentionally, or dare to reach for exciting colors, because “we don’t think we’re worthy; it’s a defense mechanism,” she said.

Ms. Bernay has been there. After years of working tirelessly at her retail styling career, including positions with high-end department stores, the pandemic hit. “It all came crashing down,” she said. “I lost part of my identity, along with the only career I’d ever known.” She also realized she had begun wearing all black, every day. “I felt like I didn’t have a voice. My focus was about all my clients and their needs, so I had nothing left for myself.”

She’d been working on writing several books for the past decade, but it was during her pandemic-induced career crisis that the words began to flow. Ms. Bernay says she finished her first book, “You Can’t Leave the House Naked,” in just 15 months.

Samira Bouaou for American Essence

She found her voice again, and now helps her clients—including CEOs, celebrities, and philanthropists—do the same. Her styling philosophy focuses on choosing clothing based not on designer names or price tags, but on each individual’s unique joys and vision. “When it’s time to get dressed, we need to stop and ask ourselves, ‘Who am I today and where do I want my life to go? What should I wear that empowers me?’” she said.

She recalled a client who found herself at a crossroads when her youngest child graduated high school. “Who am I now?” “Where do I go next?” “What do I want from my life?” she asked herself. The answer was that she had always wanted to be bolder, express her feminine side more, and take more risks with clothing. “So we did just that,” Ms. Bernay said. “We picked brighter colors, power bags, and gold hoop earrings. Her choices told me that she was ready to show up with certainty. When she looked in the mirror, it was a moment of magic.”

While we’re often tempted to reach for our all-black uniforms, Ms. Bernay points out that as humans, we instinctively gravitate to color in the natural world—and in the people around us. “We are naturally drawn to those that express themselves boldly, with confidence and courage,” she said.

Ms. Bernay devised a special five-day challenge for American Essence readers to add positivity to their lives with the power of color.

Day 1: Build Awareness

“How long do you take to get dressed? Two minutes? 10?” Ms. Bernay asked. “Do you think of what you wore the day before? Are you putting together an outfit that suits what you’re doing today, or are you simply wearing what you always wear?” Reflect on your current habits, and resolve to be more purposeful and engaged when selecting your outfits. “It’s about being aware of what [the clothes] you wear say about you.”

Day 2: Think of the Colors That Make You Smile

Consider your personality. “Do you love the sky and nature? If so, incorporate soft neutrals and pops of colors into your outfits,” Ms. Bernay said. “Times Square makes me happy, so I am drawn to yellows, bright pink, and neons. You need to take time to sit with yourself and ask, ‘What do I want? What makes me happy?’” If you’re stuck, Ms. Bernay suggests thinking about what you admire in others that you want to see in yourself.

Day 3: Wear 1 Thing Outside of Your Comfort Zone

Reach for a vibrant, colorful top, shoes that make you feel sophisticated, or even a different shade of lipstick. “This tip changed my life,” Ms. Bernay said. She recalled a pretty floral bodysuit she’d been saving for a special occasion—“but I knew I had to follow the rules of my own book and test it out,” she said. “When I did, it was probably the first time in months that I felt like I deserved to be seen.” It inspired many compliments and lives as a powerful happy memory in her closet. “This is the foundation of learning to use color, and that you’re worthy of wearing colors,” she said.

Ms. Bernay pairs her floral dress with a tan-colored tweed jacket and a black designer bag. Samira Bouaou for American Essence

Day 4: Wear All Black

Consider this a study in contrasts. Notice the difference between the previous day and today. “Make some notes on how these clothes make you feel, and the reactions you get,” said Ms. Bernay. “They don’t have to be overly long; maybe just say it out loud. This helps you learn how to choose clothes that bring out the inner you.”

Day 5: Curate a Happy Closet

Now, it’s time to start getting rid of clothing that doesn’t express your vibrant personality, evokes bad memories, or brings up negative emotions. It’s about “putting happy pieces forward,” Ms. Bernay said, creating a wardrobe that inspires new, positive, and upbeat emotions as you get dressed.

A positive ritual helps, too: “When I get dressed, I love to have music playing. On this day, I want everyone to pick their favorite band from their favorite era. They can imagine they’re going to the concert, and there’s a chance they’re going to get to meet the band or they might run into a friend they haven’t seen in a long time. They’re just going to have the best day or night ever.”

Lindsey Bernay’s Instant Color-Styling Tips

Statement Maker

I love to add a colorful shoe to a neutral outfit. This allows me to have a simple look that is elevated by the shoe. And shoes are some of my favorite things!

Lip Service

You will always catch me with a pop of color on my lips. No matter what clothes I wear, I also use my lips as a way to “speak” for my style.

Head To Toe

If you’re afraid of color, the easiest way to dive in is by wearing monochromatic outfits. They elongate you and are a chic way to feel polished.

Ms. Bernay wears an ivory-colored blazer and matching pants in an elegant paisley print. Samira Bouaou for American Essence

Lindsey Bernay’s Fashion Fundamentals

Fail-Proof Formula

Choose a single anchor piece to be the foundation of each outfi; it can be a favorite pair of shoes, a blouse, pants, or a new scarf. Then you can build an entire outfit around it.

This Magic Moment

Get out of the habit of thinking that today’s just another Tuesday, and nothing special is going to happen. Instead, imagine that something really magical will happen. ­­What do you want to be wearing that will make it even more memorable?

Be Your Own Influencer

We’re in our own heads all the time, and how we speak to ourselves matters. You deserve to feel good, so wear what makes you happy, and give yourself the compliments you'd give to anybody else.

This article was originally published in American Essence magazine.