Childhood Success Starts With These 4 Basics

Kids benefit from having a supportive family more than they do from special resources.

Could it be simple, basic things, like freedom to explore, that allow children to flourish? New Africa/Shutterstock

You know you’re getting old when you begin transferring the dreams you once had for yourself—such as playing basketball for the NBA—on to your child, a friend of mine recently noted.

His observation is one that will likely resonate with any parent. From the time a child is just a twinkle in the eye, almost every good parent begins dreaming of giving that baby the best of everything in life. And the years that follow see parents doing everything they can to execute that hope by providing excellent nutrition, the best education affordable, and lessons in piano, dance, soccer, computer programming, and every other thing imaginable that might bring that child happiness and future success.

But have you ever wondered if all those efforts are over the top? What if the elements of our child’s future success are actually in more simple things?

This question occurred to me while reading the autobiography of Russell Kirk, called “The Sword of Imagination.” Kirk, although not necessarily a household name, certainly led a successful life—in fact, he is considered to be one of the leading conservative thinkers of the 20th century, influencing millions of Americans by founding—and writing in—such prominent publications as National Review and Modern Age.

One would think that such a successful, influential man was raised with the best of everything—and he was, but not in the way many of us would think. In reality, his childhood was one of simplicity, characterized by the following four things:

A Happy Family

“Little Russell was born into a realm of domestic orders, happy in marriages, generous toward its children, close-knit in families, and conscious of their continuity,” Kirk writes.

Kirk’s parents weren’t excessively rich, nor were they excessively educated; indeed, Kirk notes that his father only had a sixth-grade education and held a variety of jobs before settling into work on the railroad for much of his life. Yet, Kirk attributes his interaction with his family as one of the greatest things that “prepared him to encounter the antagonist world.”

The presence of his father likely played a big role in that preparation. “Sober, dutiful, always gentle and decent of speech, he spent his happiest hours, perhaps, lying with his little son in the shade of a great oak above the millpond,” Kirk writes of his father. What a contrast this is to today’s directives to spend countless hours pursuing fame, fortune, and fulfillment! Instead, Kirk’s father demonstrates that some of the greatest fulfillment we can have in life comes by faithfully working an average job to support our children—one that doesn’t suck so much of our energy that we can’t spend quality time nurturing them.

Extended Family Interaction

In addition to time with his father, Kirk also spent a good deal of time with his maternal grandfather, Frank Pierce.

“Mr. Pierce had no intimates of his own generation,” Kirk writes. “It was with his grandson that he talked and walked.” The two roamed over hill and dale and “talked of the notion of Progress, and the iniquities of Richard II, and the desire for immortality, and the significance of dreams, and why the sea is boiling hot, and whether pigs have wings. Yet it was by example rather than through discourses that the old gentleman taught the boy charity and fortitude.”

It’s increasingly rare that children have such regular access to their grandparents or those of the older generation. The loss of community and the busyness of family schedules contribute to this, but sadly, so does the growing trend toward estrangement between parents and adult children and their families.

Kirk’s grandfather clearly introduced him to many deep thoughts, wisdom, and character. The question is, are we allowing our children regular access to their grandparents so they can glean the same knowledge? And on the flip side: Grandparents, are you using your time and influence to tend and nurture the young minds around you? The wisdom from the older generation is priceless.

Grandparents can be a source of wisdom and experience. gpointstudio/Shutterstock

Regular Reading Exposure

Books were a regular part of Kirk’s life, both through recommendations from his grandfather and those that lined the walls in the latter’s house. Humorously, Kirk didn’t begin solo reading until age 7, thanks to the copious amounts of time his mother spent reading aloud to him—an action to which Kirk attributes his large vocabulary. But he learned to read in two weeks, thanks to the groundwork his mother had laid in previous years.

“Reading aloud is one of the few spaces that checks all the boxes in terms of social, emotional, and mental health,” an NPR article interviewing child literacy consultant Keisha Siriboe explains, noting that “reading aloud can help people with stress management, hope, and resilience.” Kirk’s mother unknowingly took advantage of these benefits of reading aloud, but are we doing the same? If not, we’re missing out on a wonderful bonding time that will help our children in their future learning and knowledge.

Freedom to Explore

Many of today’s children are bubble-wrapped and watched carefully to ensure they don’t bring harm to themselves or others.

Not so with Kirk. He was given the freedom to explore and learn by action:

“He played and scuffled with the stalwart boys of Lower Town, dubbing them knights of the Round Table and outfitting them with wooden swords and cardboard armor. In his grandfather’s bank, he rubber-stamped endorsements on the reverse of checks and even ... was permitted in the vault to pile up safety deposit boxes as if they had been building-blocks.”

Away from screens, children can use their imagination. hareluya/Shutterstock

How often do we enable our children to play freely and use their imaginations, or allow them to mingle with us while we work and unconsciously learn the ropes of adulthood and its labors? Doing so will give our children an independence and inquisitiveness that will help them one day take risks and attempt challenges that today’s screen-hooked children would never even dream about.

In summary, as much as we want to give our children everything to give them the best chance at success, it’s often the simplest, overlooked things that actually give them the biggest head start in life. Will we sacrifice our time to make these simple things happen? If we don’t, our children will struggle to make up the ground they have lost.