Building Stronger Neighborhoods, One Block Party at a Time

Block parties help to turn neighborhoods into communities. (Biba Kayewich)

For Vanessa Elias, a childhood memory sparked an idea that has the potential to build stronger communities all across the United States.

Her family moved many times when Ms. Elias was growing up. At one point, they lived in Saint Louis, Missouri, for 18 months on a cul-de-sac near a farm. It was there that one special summer evening gave her an instant sense of belonging to a community.

“We had a block party,” Ms. Elias said. “Kids were running around after dark, playing flashlight tag, chasing fireflies, running everywhere. Our parents were chatting. Someone pulled out a big steel trough, like cattle drink from, and filled it with water and made it a swimming pool. There’s this photo I have of my dad getting in there with his suit on, full on with a tie, and my expression as a 9-year-old of just pure joy. That was a magical night for me.”

Fast forward several decades, and we find Ms. Elias hard at work spreading that magic through Block Party USA, hoping that neighborhood get-togethers will cast a similar spell over children and adults around the United States while binding communities closer together.

‘Connection Is What Matters’

In 2015, spurred on by what she saw in the breakdown of families and communities and by a crisis in her own family, Ms. Elias became a mental health activist, a certified parent coach, and a speaker and writer. She is the founder of Thrive With a Guide, where her mission is to “guide parents to discover their power—to transform their lives and bring deep connection and joy back into their families.” A resident of Wilton, Connecticut, and married with three daughters, she is a former president of the Wilton Youth Council, co-founded the Wilton Mental Health Task Force, and is a founding member of the Wilton Coalition for Youth, which seeks to bolster the connections between organizations serving young people and their families.

This deep dive into the politics and culture of her adopted town brought an increasing awareness of the need for stronger bonds in the community. In 2018, Ms. Elias and others started what she called Wilton’s Big Block Party Weekend.

“We had a two-pronged goal of connecting neighbors face to face and encouraging free play for children,” she said. “It’s all about micro-connection, local connection, and so, that first weekend we had 40 different block parties involving about 1,200 people. It gave people permission to reach out to their neighbors. And since then it’s been a Wilton tradition.”

Ms. Elias followed up by conducting a case study of one of these blocks.

“What’s grown out of it is beautiful in terms of kids getting jobs, meals for families with a new baby, roasting s’mores together in the winter. ... It’s the epitome of your community and your neighborhood and feeling connected and taken care of,” she said.

This success inspired Ms. Elias to launch Block Party USA. Her dream, as she explains on her website, is “to achieve connection, civility, and community—and especially to foster free play for kids. ... Neighbor talking to neighbor, away from devices and enjoying face-to-face time. I believe gathering for a block party just once a year can have a profound ripple effect.”

Throw Your Own Block Party

“Keep it simple. We’re not looking for pony rides and bouncy castles. We want to keep it simple so that it feels doable.”

That piece of advice is the heart of the block party as envisioned by Ms. Elias. As for her other suggestions and tips, they are eminently practical.

Invite Your Neighbors

Everyone is invited to the neighborhood block party. (Biba Kayewich)

Some people may feel shy or uncomfortable floating the idea of a block party to their neighbors.

“What is helpful is to share Block Party USA and the website when you invite people. Explain it as part of a movement, and this is why you’re doing it makes people a little more comfortable,” Ms. Elias said.

She recommends inviting 30 to 40 neighbors—“Not everybody’s going to come”—by putting flyers on their doors.

“You include the date and time, and your contact information, and a reminder to bring lawn chairs. The easiest thing is for everyone to bring a cooler and food to share—I recommend finger foods—and BYOB. The way I like to do it is from four to seven, which is getting into dinner time but not too late for those with young kids,” she said.

Offer Name Tags

Everyone is invited to the neighborhood block party. (Biba Kayewich)

She also recommends name tags and a sign-in sheet, where everyone can enter their email addresses.

“I think the name tags are key,” Ms. Elias said. “They can put their address and street number there, and that really helps solidify the connections. And you can follow up by sending an email to all the people that signed up. You can put together a contact sheet.”

Ms. Elias also reassures those hosting the block party not to worry about the number of people who end up coming. At one of her Wilton block parties, which she organized at the last minute, only 12 people showed up.

“Normally, we’d have 30 to 40, and someone said to me, ‘Where is everybody? Aren’t you upset?’ No, the 12 of us got to talk. We had more time together. Anything more than four is a success,” she said.

Include Everyone

Family members of all ages can enjoy block parties and meeting other families in their area. (Biba Kayewich)

As Ms. Elias makes clear, these neighborhood parties are for everyone. She especially encourages parents to bring along their teens and young adults.

“Get them to carry the cooler or set up the sidewalk chalk for younger children or something like that,” she said. “It’s really important to include the whole family. Our young adults are struggling with isolation and loneliness more than any other group, so it’s not an opt-out option, right?”

Benefits and Byproducts

In addition to being fun, block parties, as Ms. Elias notes, also cultivate a culture where we show up for our neighbors if they need us, help strengthen the connections between generations, and can often lead to employment—babysitting, pet sitting, raking leaves, mowing lawns—for teens.

“When we get together face-to-face,” she said, “we realize that we have more in common than we are different.”

On her website, Ms. Elias writes, “My town is proof that you can get along with your neighbors who vote differently than you, that you may disagree on many issues but you can still laugh together and offer a helping hand.”

“We as humans underestimate our impact,” Ms. Elias said, “and the potential of the difference we can make in someone else’s world, and how it makes us have joy, how it makes us feel good. This is actionable, and you can start now, this summer, start a tradition and carve out a life for yourself and your family and your community.”

It is, as Ms. Elias said, “a win, win, win for everybody.”

(Courtesy of Block Party USA)

(Courtesy of Block Party USA)

(Courtesy of Block Party USA)

(Courtesy of Block Party USA)

(Courtesy of Block Party USA)