If a friend, family member, or colleague suddenly came to your door unannounced, what would your first reaction be? If you surprisingly found out that you were expected to leave for a social or professional event within the next few minutes, how would you feel? If an amazing opportunity arose out of nowhere, what would your instinctual response be? If you were immediately taken to a surprise party in your honor, attended by all of your friends and family, how would you feel?
For many people, such scenarios evoke a sense of dread, shame, and anxiety. Initial thoughts go to the inappropriateness of their outfit, the extra weight they’ve put on, their embarrassingly messy home, their shame at having slacked off in their work, or even their dread at being found to be a fraud. They are caught off guard, totally unprepared, and feeling insecure. In short, they are afraid—afraid of being judged, afraid of disappointing others, and afraid of not living up to the standards they wish to hold for themselves.
