Does this sound familiar? You promised yourself you’d start waking up earlier, but you just keep hitting the snooze. After feeling inspired one day, you told yourself you’d start that project you’ve been dreaming about, but weeks later you’ve taken no action. You know that your life would be much better if you kicked that one bad habit, but you just don’t seem to be willing to let it go.
Why does it seem that we can typically keep commitments we make to other people, but when it comes to keeping the commitments we make to ourselves, we’re willing to disappoint?
Of course, the social pressure to not disappoint others plays a huge role. We aim to protect our reputation and fear the consequences of letting down others. The consequences of letting ourselves down seem minimal in comparison. But, are they?
When we continually disregard previous commitments we’ve made to ourselves, we’re saying that everything else is more important, that our goals and aims are insignificant, that our word is meaningless, and that our will is weak. Regularly disappointing yourself can lead to a lack of self-respect and disbelief in your capabilities.
Small Win
Begin by committing to something small and easily doable. Make your outcome very specific so that it’s obvious when you’ve succeeded and give yourself a reasonable deadline. Perhaps you commit to waking up 15 minutes earlier than you usually do for the next three days, for example. Upon completion of your goal, celebrate and revel in your success. The point here is to begin to develop the muscle of honoring your own commitments.Determine Your Priorities
Perhaps the reason you don’t follow through is that sometimes the aims you’re pursuing are not true priorities for you. You might feel external pressure to pursue a goal or you may be stuck in an old mindset after your priorities have changed. Take the time to think about what you’re committing to and only agree (with yourself) to things that align with your values.Refine Your Habits
Our daily habits have a powerful impact on our lives. Ensure your habits support your fullest potential. Consider your environment, your constraints, and your resources as you improve one habit at a time in support of your goals. If there is a daily action that would easily move your progress forward in a particular area, work to make it a habit.Envision Success and Failure
As you consider whether or not you should commit to doing something, picture in your mind what success would look like and what that would mean for you. Try to pace yourself in your future self’s shoes, having accomplished the goal and the impact that success has. Then, the picture failed to accomplish that goal.Raise Your Standards
Finally, aim to become a person who not only keeps their word to others but to oneself. Make it a standard that you will do what you believe you should do, that you’ll value your own goals and ideas, and that you’ll live in alignment with your core values to the greatest extent possible.
Work gradually to attain a high standard of integrity with yourself and notice when your confidence improves and you’re better able to serve those around you.
